“"I got it!" yelled Peter as he ran backwards to recieve on his chest the first kick off of the game. Unfortunately for Peter as he ran backwards he failed to see a big rock in the outfield and promptly tripped ass up. In his daze he could only watch as the furry, chittering 'rock' that smelt faintly of cabbage scooped up the loose ball as it landed and sprinted to the endzone like some furry child who just scored some crack off his dealer.

Hakk'on could only watch on in dismay as Skaven sprouted all over his backlines like some kind of hirsuit mushrooms. He was stumped as to how though, until The Flaymaker, who was chasing after an unfortunate Skaven linerat shrieking 'Here Kitty Kitty!', fell waist deep into the pitch (and was subsequently beaten into submission with some hard cheese in a painful role reversal).

"Tunnels!"

Unfortunately Hakk'on had neither Napalm or Squigs on hand to deal with the tunnel threat and at the final whistle the Tender Humans slumped from the site of their worst defeat.

After a brief debrief/whipping for all his players, Hakk'on turned to the bottom of page thirteen of his diary where "Never trust a rat not to cheat" was written and added in handwritten scrawl "even if they pinky swear."”