“After my last two games I was on a high… okay, so, my last two games were against a goblin with a cannon ball, and he was useless, and he got sent off both games, but I didn’t let the naysayer’s discourage me… Nope, I was on a high, no wait, I was high, now I remember it was the mushrooms I stole from Azuth the Fanatic!

Hmmm… can’t remember how I got to the pitch that morning, but I distinctly remember that my opponent was a Dog by the name of… … man it as strong shit!

Anyway, the … dog’s… name was Killer Lamp, or something… I think it must have been a clever play on words about killing lampposts… meh… you know dogs.

Don’t remember a whole lot about it, but I’m sure I knocked the mut from piller to post and won 4-0! The after party must have been great though as I woke up the following morning with a headache and some serious scratch marks down my back… hope she was pretty!
”