“SWL Season XIX - Premier League - Round 3

Hi Folks, we're here in the with what's left of the 'We Fink Wer Orks' squad after a truly brutal match, with an exclusive for Big Hunta News.

Reporter: First off, bad luck out there - Leg Breaka, you had a fairly quiet match yourself, but I understand some of the team won't be back next week?
Leg Breaka: Sum ov da girlz as gone all soft like on us i reckon. We iz betta off wif dem pansies gone! I erd dat da big boss iz plannin sum nasty trainin for dem.
Reporter: Training? Does this mean that maybe not all of them are hurt quite as badly as we've been led to believe?
Leg Breaka: Ummmm... I dunno if i iz ment ta talk bout dat. How bout we talk about dem stinky orcs dat won da match?
Reporter: Sounds like you have something to say about the predators?
Leg Breaka: Yeah! Ya can tell 'em from me dat da only reason da gurlz woz so soft on 'em iz coz we felt sorry about all dem pansy names dey has. Next time dey is gonna get hurt!
Reporter: *chuckles* I'll certainly be looking forward to that match! Oh Loony Tossa - can you spare a moment of your time?
Loony Tossa: *winks suggestively* Only fer you darlin.
Reporter: *blushes* Ahem, well, um, according to the stats, it looks like you were going the wrong way? -7 passing, and -1 Rushing? What happened?
Loony Tossa: Wrong way? Da only time I az gone da wrong way iz when I said I'd talk ta you!
Reporter: Oh dear, off she goes, I don't think we'll get an answer out of her for that one.
Reporter: Leg Breaka, you had a good view of the first half - what went wrong in that one?
Leg Breaka: Well, it woz all ta plan, cept dat da girlz weren't hittin ard enuff. Dey went all soft an let all doze stinky KOed orcs come back on fer da second half. Dat, an da stupid ref sent off Elbow Kicka AND Knee Snappa fer good clean hits I might add. Hed Splitta did good, an Da Flinga too - kept da ball movin nicely.
Da worst bit was dat dem stinky predawotsits cheated. Before da match, dey 'ad a gobbo playin wif da straps on sum of our armour, and if dat wozn't enuff, dey snuk on a chainsaw. Real orcs dun need anyfing more dan dey woz born wif.

Reporter: Tampering with another player's armour is pretty serious - do you have any proof of this?
Leg Breaka: Not exactly ... but you saw em smashin through it like we woz wearin nuffin at all!
Reporter: Nothing at all eh? Now *that* gives me an idea.
Leg Breaka: I dun fink so boy. You iz lucky da rest of da girlz woz too far away ta hear dat.

Reporter: *looks around nervously* How about the second half - you only had 8 players going in, but you did have the lead. What happened to let the match slip through your fingers?
Leg Breaka: Well, der was still da armour problem, an like i said, da girlz went too soft on em - too many KOs, not enuff broken bones. An dem stinky orcs cheated again! Dey did a dodgy kick dat landed between two of their own players ... an da ref let it slide! I reckon we woulda had em otherwise - at least a draw, an maybe even a win!
Reporter: You don't think that you were just out-bashed, and out-played then?
Leg Breaka: Not a chance - dem stinkers cheated for sure! An as I as nuffin more to say I'm gonna
hit da showers.
Reporter: I don't suppose they'll let me sneak the camera in there will they?
Leg Breaka: Hah! You betta wotch yaself boy. Not all da girlz iz az nice as me...

Reporter: On that note, I'd best be off (before word spreads). Before I go though, some of you may be interested in a rumour that's been floating around the newsroom. Certain people are saying that coach Laviak is actually training several players up over the next week or so, in preparation for the girls 50th match. Others just think the girls are finally realising that they're actually not orcs at all. Only time will tell.

------------------- Twahnlow Votes -------------------
3 pts - #11 Smilodon Populator
Play of the match I think. After Loony Tossa threw the ball to Da Flinga, who was almost standing in her own end zone. Smilodon blitzed through, taking her down (badly hurt), and also collected the ball all in one neat motion. Keep an eye on this fellow, we're expecting him to go a long way.

2 pts - #8 Sarcophilus Harrisii
The whole team did a good job on the blocking front - nearly half the armour breaks went through to be casualties, and there was just one knockout all match. Seems like they all knew how to hit exactly how it hurts. Sarcophilus led the way by seriously injuring Back Breaka in the very first turn.

1 pt - #16 Ailuropoda melanoleuca
Ailuropoda is just what you want in a troll. He only failed one bone-head roll all match, and made a mighty fine road-block the rest of the time. Probably nothing that was truly game-changing, but he filled his role to a par. Oh, and as an added bonus, he killed Spleen Rippa on the last block of the first half. BAM!”