“A sad day for the Mighty Gitz with their star thrower Eddy 'Chucka' Simowitz throwing his last pigskin. His coach One Eye had even been debating the idea of giving his rookie thrower a turn on the field this game... but Eddy's ability to turn a game on its head with a fantastic pitch length throw is legendary and One Eye gives the fans what they want dammit!

Sadly only two turns in, Eddy met his demise after the much maligned Apo failed to insert the needle into Eddy's vein and instead punctured his lung, leaving Eddy's famous last words nothing more than a soft hiss of escaping air.

The Gitz have mourned their loss in typical fashion... by boiling the rotten, Useless, GOBLIN SNIFFING SON OF A #^%&;@ APO AND EATING 'IM!!!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MY FAVOURITE PLAYERS DEAD!!

Now im gonna have to spend a whole 70k on a new player and think of a name! Why don't these pixels think about us poor coaches before expiring at the most in-opportune times?!?!?

RIP Eddy 'Chucka' Simowitz”