“'Hey Splooge, is the skin on my nose starting to peel off?'
'Rrrrr......wutah!?'
'Nevermind Mr.Eloquent. God knows why I'm conversing with a troll, I'd give anything to be back on Zuma Beach with those elvish volleybal... ah bugger is the mic on?'

RIIIIIIIGHT dear audience, it's your fav match reporter Spunkin O'Blog back from a well deserved vacation. *grumble... the skin IS coming off*

So anyway, the Boyz have been in somewhat of a slump lately with this new idiotic handicap system gone into full effect, which has in essence slammed a solid brick wall between any decent team (Editors remark: read as 'stunty') and glorious bloody victory.

Well walls were made fer breakin'! Aye, now ol' Splooge is nodding appreciatively. No put down that suntan lotion you big oaf...... or just drink it.

BUROOOP! *troll grins*

So coach Korkrest pitted his well disciplined Dungeon Crawl vs the Boyz today. A well balanced skaven team with loads of nasty blockers. Apparently this wasn't enough, as the skaven smuggled secret weaponry onto the field in the form of some knuckledusters. Obviously they thought they needed to cheat to stand a chance. Good enuff.

Much worse was that official Bloodbowl officials that were official made it officially known that their official business was to make sure... *chuckles* darn im brilliant sometimes... yeah anyway the Boyz were under scrutiny. No fouling. Half the fans left the arena before the match started, quite understandably. This put quite a dent in the Boyz strat.

Well onto the game. The skaven made good use of their superior strength and speed, scoring early on via some snazzy dodgery (no the Boyz were not that impressed) and a pretty risky block for a 1-0 lead.

The Boyz prepped for some wanton destruction on receiving the ball, with Sploogekanon and ol' Grumps taking up position on the far side with a huge grin on his ugly face. Roaring 'Yo goin' DOWN furries!' Grumps fixed his eyes on two skaven linerats, and flexed those continental shoulder muscles.

Unfortunately the Boyz didn't have much for that strat, as the rats, quick as ever blitzed. Damnation! Is there no justice in this world. Coach Khaan swore, spat and called illegal procedure to no effect.

Stargeezer Oafie, playing his old quarterback/receiver role quickly responded to the onslaught of skaven by snatching the ball and going for a pass, whilst Grumps readied up his throwing arm for a quick response, but alas the pass fumbled. The skaven jumbled up their play and the Boyz were able to recover the ball anyway and eventually score.

After this the game turned bloody for the Boyz, with three SI and one death, but through some wickedly dangerous and ingenious play (that comment WILL cost you extra you know) they pulled off a 3-1 win anyway.

Highlights of the game was Sploogekanon ripping a stormvermin to shreds and the skaven apo failing miserably at restictching the poor sod. Player of the game was not surprisingly Oafie who scored two touchdowns, utilising both his unsurpassed speed, agility and smallness.

Well played by both coaches, but obviously the match coudln't have ended any other way with gobos being in the match. Gobos always win!

Now get back here damn fans! More blood and mayhem promised in upcoming matches.”