“Is it civil war?

Is it a sale at Bloomingdales?

Is it superman?

NO dear listeners, it's yet another bloodgushin, testosterone pumpin, 90 minutes of non stop wanton destruction. Brought to you by the Boyz!

Such mayhem and violence would put even the most skilled pumpwagon piloteers to shame. Yeah dats right, you 'eard it first 'ere on the air, with Spunkin O'Blogg!

Without gettin too ahead of meself, the Boyz took on some scaly ghecko type thingamajigs from da jungle today. Apparently they knew how to samba. Their cadre of stunty lil leezard buggers sure looked sneaky. Much glaring and gnashing of teeth was exchanged between 'em n' da Boyz prematch in attempts to intimidate each other. The leezard fans added to the ruckus by beating up the snacks and eating the vendors. Such improvisation is commended. Much enjoyed by all, indeed!

The Boyz fans, reputed for their insatiable menace, would be no worse and retorted by hurling a rock.... well officially, it was a R-O-C-K, as those are the only weapons the fans are allowed to bring into the stadium. In actuality it was a small farm house. By small I mean extremly large.... mansion. Yeah ok ok, more like a fortress if I have to be truthful, with threefoot thick walls, towers, stables, drawbridge.. yeah you get the picture. Blinded by the blazing sun, (yeah we had sweltering heat today) Saurus Vriim didn't see that fortress coming and got hit on the knee and surely would've niggled were it not for the leezardman mojodoctor, who patched him up proper. That voodoo sure is funkee. All that before the match even started!

Enough architectural subplots.... back to the game. Slightly shaken the leezards easily steamrolled over the three scrimmage gobos and advanced along the side of the pitch to set up a loose cage with the ball secure. Assisted by two gobos, Grumps responded by charging straight into a saurus and a wee skink that happened to be loitering about. The skink was carried off to continue his loitering in the BH box. Saurus Bariim was not quite so lucky, and that's a rough understatement.

Clearly the leezards now realized the immense destructive powers in Grumps, and promptly blitzed him down and fouled him straight into the KO box. Sidenote: a skink carried out that foul. Only stunties know how to foul correctly it seems, something about being small and fitting into small orifices.... yeah or... nnnnrh.. something.

Boyz locked up the skink ballholder with some diving tackle, and were able to force a turnover in the leezards next turn. Ball is loose! Trying to snatch it, Oafie tripped violently and fell dead on his face. DEAD! Leezard crowd went wild and ate the remaining snack vendors. By some miracle Boyz doc was able to resusci... recsuc... bring Oafie back to life, if somewhat battered. Phew! We all had our toenails in our mouths there fer a bit.

After some more dodgery, diving tackling and lots of falling into the dirt the leezards scored for a 1-0 lead. With Splut V dead...ish... well pulpified more like it, two gobos in the SI box, one skink BH, one saurus dead, and both apoths out of band aids the fans were chewing froth in excitement at this point i tell ya.

Now the sweltering heat kicked in. The coldblooded bastards straight outta the steamy jungle were unaffected, but the Boyz took a bit of a toll, mostly with Splooge not showing up. So Grumps promptly threw Oafie deep for a oneturn TD. No lalliwaggying around 'ere.

Next leezard push sees the Boyz blitzing and Grumps sends another skink limping off, now to the SI box. Oafie catches his own kickoff and after Grumps sends yet another skink to the SI box the Boyz score. Again. 3-1. Fans go absolutely bonkers.

Next leezard push sees some jumbled up plays by our scaly friends, Boyz snatch the ball and score in their last turn. 4-1 to the gobos!

Apparently the rabid Boyz fans had some random debris still laying about up in section H, and they did not hesitate to use it. On saurus Pliim. Who keeled over. Dead.

What a match, what a match! One of the surviving lizards was quoted after the match: Schish Kebab, indeed.”