“First off, I would like to thank BowlBot for making this wonderful battle of perfectly equal teams a possibility. Thanks Bot.

'caps are:
Palmed coin
I am the Greatest
Knuckledusters

Oh, but let's get on with the game.
First kickoff. Thanks to Palmed Coin, I get the ball.

TURN 1
Perfect defense.
My elves are now standing face to face with a wall of Dead.
My perfectly normal AG4 thrower goes to pick up the ball (1) rerolled to (2+).
I hatch a crazy plan to break through with a 1db but the dice disagree (2+,2+, powskull). I start to dodge my elfses out of harms way and get (2+,2+,2+,1).

TURN 2
I see an opportunity to run out of reach with a blitzer. I make another 1db attempt solely since there doesn't seem to be anything better and SUCCEED! (2+,2+,POW). This is it, all I need to run is a dodge! (1, reroll 1). Muhammad Ali is prone.

TURN 3
There's still an opportunity. In order to get the ball to the blitzer my throwy would need to make a 3+ dodge (instead of 2+ last turn) and another 1db block against his mummy. Block is POW!. I need a 3+ and a 2+ dodge. (1, reroll to 5, 1) Muhammad Ali is prone.

TURN 4
No longer have the ball, and I don't see a chance to beat these guys. Retreat! Every man from himself! Dodges 2+,3+,3+,2+,2+,1. Opponent scores.

TURN 5
Kickoff Roll Cheering fans! (Don't Need Dirt gets extra reroll)
I start blocking on the LOS. Powskull, POW. My catcher manages to grasp the ball with his thumb and fingers! The crowd goes wild! 2+. I blitz (PUSH). All my players have moved, oh my :3

TURN 6
Opponent gets doubleones for once. To score, all I need is a Short Pass and a GFI. Short Pass: 1, rerolled 1.

TURN 7
I decide to let him score and try to block the players threatening mine.
Dodge 2+, 1. Opponent scores.

TURN 8
Kickoff roll is Blitz. Opponent beats my guys on the LOS.
One of my linos manages a Quick Pass for SPP (2+, 2+, 2+)! Oh my god, this is amazing. I try to bring my linos out of the fire (3+, 2+, 1)

UP UNTIL THIS POINT:
17 2+ rolls
4 3+ rolls
11 1 rolls
We are 34% ones, especially where they count.

SECOND HALF
TURN 1
I am not having very much fun. I decide my opponent can score or knock my guys down once for all he cares, I'm not conceding and I'm quite damn obviously not going to be able to stop him. I walk my guys out of the way and blitz the one skeleton who would make a dodge 3+ as opposed to 2+ (POW). I make 2 successful dodges, 2+, 2+.

Opponent homes in to beat them up but it's fine. He wants SPP, I want money, we're cool.

TURN 2
I make a feeble attempt to fight back while my guys are still standing. PUSH, SKULL (rerolled to SKULL)

TURN 3
I have 3 guys standing. Meh, might aswell do something. -2db (skull/something, rerolled to something/powskull). Oh, I see I actually blitzed with a guy who was all prone and chilling already. That was silly. -2db, SKULL. Opponent lays down the last ones and fouls.

TURN 4
My guys are comfily chilling on the ground. I get to push the turn button, this must be like the third time in this game already.

TURN 5
I set up to foul his ST6 mummy who is wide open. Just need to 2db away these 2 pesky skeletons.
Kickoff roll is Perfect Defense.
My guys are facing a wall of Dead. Again.
The clumsy thrower catches the kickoff (3+).
I start dodging out my guys. 2+, 1 rerolled to 2+, 2+, 1. Muhammad Ali is prone.
Opponent beats me up, I twiddle thumbs. Doo dee doo.

TURN 6
I want to free my sandwitched thrower for a SPP pass. Blitz with st4 lino brings up nothing better than a useless POW/SKULL. Oh well. ST4 dodges out (2+). I decide, damnit, I'm not letting you score one more, Khemri of doom! I Long Bomb to the other side of the field. There's a no-skill Skeleton in a tackle zone in the way.

Intercept FINAL RESULT: Ptrey
TARGET: 8 --- ROLL: 6 + 0 = 6
Ptrey intercepts the ball!

Oh.
Opponent beats me up, causes niggle, APO succeeds (2+).

TURN 7
All my guys are hugging the grass. Mmmm, grass. Opponent scores.

TURN 8
I set up to foul that ST6 mummy who is wide open again.
Kickoff roll is NOT BLITZ! It is Bad Kick. The ball scatters one square.
I block first skeleton out of the way - POW!
I block second skeleton SKULL/SKULL, no rerolls.

GRAND TOTAL:
2+ rolls 24 (including apo)
3+ rolls 5 (including kickoff catch)
1 rolls 13 (not including skulls of course)
We are 31% one rolls.

In conclusion.
* I think BowlBot needs to stop using drugs.
* I think a coach better than me may have lost with less TD's (possibly even scored some) but with these rolls and these teams I don't believe it could have been won. OR, with a much better coach than me, could have been won at the cost of heavy casualties. Letting each guy get kicked down as few times as possible meant as few cas rolls as possible meant the team would have less casualties for the next match. (Following BowlBot's logic, hopefully against some 80/117 Skaven).
* I think I need to roll less ones.
* I think did not waste too much time on this whine because statistics agree - I was unlucky. HA! Got you this time, Nuffle.”