“Golden Fools indeed! Challenging the strongest, fastest, best looking, most foulplaying team there is.

Who am I kidding, that's a complete lie.. well except maybe for one. No actually it's a complete lie, the Boyz were pretty *whispers* n-i-c-e-p-l-a-y-i-n-g today. You didn't hear that from me incase Lucky or Helmet Harry start to ask around you hear!?

Half the Boyz arrived late for this match, so only five brave buggers and Grumps made the field at the elves first kickoff. Coach Khaan thought the elves would stall and kick around the goblins for a while, but apparently the sight of both Lucky and Helmet Harry hiding behind mighty Grumps, with their army issue steel clads brightly polished got the elves thinking otherwise. Elves score. Good choice, thought the goblins.

Then it got really sunny. Some blocks were thrown. Elves got pushed around. Grumps was stupider than ever, at one point clocking in five straight failed boneheads, and acting like a real 12spp ogre without pro. Then it got really rainy. And there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth as the ball refused to be picked up.

Lucky showed how its done by punting out an elf for a BH, but thats about it. At end of first half Oafie scored for 1-1. That man...err sorry, goblin is a machine!

Then it continued raining. Everyone thought it was annoying. Even the elves couldn't pick up the ball if their life depended on it. Which it sort of did. Grumps and Splooge tagteamed some elves into the SI box, but no permanent damage done. Half the crowd went home in disappointment. The rest were eagerly searching for rocks to eat or snack vendors to throw, but came up blank.

After much elvish dodging, goblin diving tackling, even more failed boneheads (is that a disease by the way?), Sploogekanon catching the disease and going dumb for a couple of rounds, elves applauding the big guys incompetence we finally end up with Oafie in a desperate situation.

*overhead camera zooms in on Oafie, looking over his shoulder, water rivulets running down his face and into his frantic little eyes. Eyes full of fright. You hear his heart pounding louder and louder. Enter music from the Jaws movies... dum dum dum dum duuum*
All alone with the ball, elves close by all around, and no more strength left in his poor legs, he makes one last push for a handover to Grumps... and falls splat in the mud!

BUT, Grumps catches the wayward slippery ball. Or rather, the ball attaches itself to his muddy pants. Or something. Well, you imagine your own best fit scenario. Whatever.

With two rounds left the elves throw themselves upon Grumps but are unable to amass enough elfpower to take him down. They do a good job tying him down tho. A multiblock blitz seems to be the way out for Grumps but his blocking assistance falls flat in the mud for a turnover. Grumps is a wee seven paces away from a TD with elves tying him down in the most pansy ways. Again, use your own imagination.

In a last desperate effort Grumps blitzes his way into a lineelf, and then dodges out of the grasp of his captors and lumbering toward the TD zone you can really hear Coach Narok screaming from his bench NO #&!)%# WAAY! Grumps takes two last large steps and scores! What a man. Ogre. Ogreman. But still he is Grumpypants! Hero of the match! 2-1 to da Boyz.

'Dat's da last time I evers do any of dat dodgey podgey stuff', Grumps was later heard commenting. 'Wut me drinkin pals gonna be thinkun when dey 'ears I be runnin AWAY from elfies... with da BALL!?'

Great game Narok, can't but laugh at goblin incompetence matched evenly versus elf unluck.”