“
And there they come. The freak shows I have to play with. Disgusting. I'll never steal food from Blood Bowl staff ever again.

The stench is getting intolerable. Matches their looks. Left boot, right boot, right boot, shoulder pads, vest. Off to the team bench. Why do I have to wear this ugly vest anyway? It's too ample, it gives the others a way to grab on to me and there's a number on it making it impossible to go unnoticed in a crowd. This is absurd combat equipment!

I hear squirms behind me. My teammates arriving from the locker room, and the crowd gasps at their uglyness. Klork The Tall must have been smoking some strange stuff when he named this team. The Adorable Squiddly Furrys. Adorable, yeah right. Even I would like to put a knife in their back to end their misery.

A bunch of beasts are also coming out of their room, on the other side of the arena. They look all dirty and ready to knock some limbs off. And they have threatening horns, every last one of them. Remind me not to get catch next time I steal! The crowd boos them and starts throwing everything expandable (even halflings!) at them.

The coach calls us to formation. We'll get first dibs at the ball. At least none of the freak shows stay behind me. The beasts line up on the other side, few on each side and a huge one in the middle. Once they reach their positions, the ball is kicked over us, rebounds off the horn of the beast standing before me, and ends up in the very back of our zone. Immediately my team reacts with unpredictable speed and before you know it, I'm handed the ball right behind the scrimmage line.

As soon as I get the ball (eww, Stickyhands left its mark on it!), I run forward as fast as I can with some of my teammates running along me as protection. The crowd cheers like crazy. While my teammates take their positions around me, I look around to see what happened. It's a good thing I couldn't get any food because I'd have lost it right there. "Fluffball" decided to take a snack and is in the process of gulping down the beastman that was standing before him.

When I was about to resume my escape to the other team’s end zone, one of te beastmen almost reached me. But lucky me my teammates are also doing their job very well and Squiddlyhands smacks its undescriptible appendage right on the beast’s throat, sending it straight to the ground. The crowd is on its feet and Squiddlyhands pushes one last beast, allowing me to run straight for the first point.

We hurry back to our kicking poisitions, our line ready to push them back and the crowd cheering for it. The minotaur tries to make a breach on our left flank, but my teammates maage to contain him using their "unique traits". This leaves me and Squiddlyhands just enough room to squeeze through to reach the beastman holding the ball. I try to trip it using my extra leg, but the other Furry comes in and sends it straight to the ground. Right behind him comes Gooskin, seemingly absorbing the ball and running for another point. A diving beast just comes short of catching him before he can reach the end zone. The crowd is in hysterics and the commentator screams the new score into the speakers.

The game resumes and I find myself once again teaming up with the efficient stormvermin Squiddlyhands, but this time the minotaur is coming straight for us! But a combination of us and Stickyhands destabilizing its legs eventually gets it to fall and we’re able to go for the ball. The beasts in the back of their zone watch in disbelief as I take the ball in my hands before they even managed to reach it. One of them comes to tackle me before I reach the end zone, but I stop and Fluffball comes rolling through, flattening our opponent. I follow the sound of acclamations to the end zone and we now have 3 points, with the referee sending us back to our benches for a break.

And the commentator reminds everyone of the score – 3 nothing for the freak shows – and we take our places. I’m lucky and the oter team concentrates on our other flank, meaning I can sneak behind them safely. The minotaur tries a breakthrough towards my side, but our six-kneed linerat (!) brings it down with him. This leaves time for Fluffball and the others to surround the beastmen. I hear the characteristic buzzing sounds of our line beating theirs down, and eventually Gooskin emerges from the melee with the ball and passes it to Stickytoes for another quick point.

And now the crowd is in ecstasy at the spectacle, freak shows beating down ugly and equally horribly mutated creatures. We’re all pumped up with our success and decide to go for more. As soon as the kick is done, we storm through both of their flanks, beating them to the ball. Gooskin manages to get a hold of it before me and I’m sent to blocking duty while fortunately me he ends this fast, and we head back into kicking position again.

The crowd is clearly on our side. Once the kick is done, one of the beasts is ready to tackle the linerat in front of me, but is unsuspectedly stopped by a flying goblin. The crowd cheers for us as I jump on the still-free ball and my escort slams into the only beast able to reach me. I now have a free way to the end zone, and give my team a 6 point lead.

The referee blows into his whistle, signaling the end, and rushes to a shelter before the crowd can knock him out with Bloodweiser cans. I see both teams heading out to their rooms, and I decide to stay there to entertain the fans some more and cheer with them, making sure my stinky teammates will have left the locker room by the time I head back there.
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