“Feeling sorry for the sickly sylvan, the Phun With Phonetics team graciously spent the bulk of their time on the pitch having a picnic. Getting the drop on the heartfelt half-pints the Fast & Fragile's Eat My Dust scored and Guard Would Be Nice scored back to back touchdowns while the Phonetics dined on cuecumber sandwiches and iced raspberry tea. Being fully refreshed, and reminded they were there to play a game, the halfling half-wits set themselves in motion and slowly waddled down the field.

Casualties were mild because the Phonetics were too jovial, and full, to be bothered with inflicting grievous damage. Fragile's You Better Have Sure Feet fell over himself hurting himself and Oscar Orphan in the process. Phonetic's own India Initiate and Juliet Juvie hurt a pair of limp-writed long-lifers in retaliation because, as was later revealed, Oscar Orphan was carrying the basket of brown bottle beers.

Near the end of the first half the quicker than average November Nerd scored easily while the elves spent some time being sat on by halflings.

The second half was a fast folly of fumbling fleet-footed Fast and Fragile failures as the team could not manage to score the entirity of the remaining time. A lot of complicated dodges, bootlegs, and reversals could not fool the simple-minded swarming stuntys.

Oscar Orphan was awarded the team MVP for guzzling the teams entire supply of brown bottle beer (all 31 cases) and keep both his life and his eyesight!”