“What was billed as a sexy pillowfight, turned as ugly as middle school cyber-bullying in the long awaited inter-division battle between Minnesnowta's ViQueens and Chicago's Broads.

Minnesnowta lined up to take the kick and the ugliness ensued. Chicago's Martha Singletary made some comment about star Blitzer, Adrienne Peterson's, makeup being too thick and Adrienne crumpled on her own turn, hiding her face and sobbing "That's SO mean, I just want to DIE!". Chicago was glad to oblige and with the glee a 7th grader takes in blogging publicly about another girl being a fat bitch, they laid down the boots. Some thought Peterson did actually die, but the doctor said the bleeding was natural (so we all know where the dramatics stemmed from ;) )

Chicago pounced on the fact that the ViQueens were just too appalled to move... but the veteran leadership (and sexy high heels) of Rory Longwell kept them in the game. Rory's been dealing with bitches like these since FOURTH grade, and she knows the best way to get back at them is to go at their shoes. Rory attacked their hometown shoe factory, their stores, the stitching, the color and the general fashion sense of the Broads footwear to the point where they could barely walk without looking at their own feet and wishing they could take the time to change into something more versatile and business casual.

The tide turned against Chicago as Minnesnowta scored the first half and relentlessly referred to the Broads as "Kinney Girls" and "Stride Riters". The most gut wrenching moment of the game wasn't Jilly Kleinsasser's bellydance boot-heels to the stomachs of the Broad's tacklers... no. It was Rory teaming up with Crissy Carter on the sideline against Martha for her comment about Adrienne Peterson's makeup earlier. Crissy was heard to say to Martha, "Your eyeliner makes you look like a crying whore." Which backed up Martha right in front of Rory Longwell who finished her off with a push into the crowd saying, "And your feet are so beyond mangled, you might as well be wearing Birkenstocks... c**t."

... and with that, the crowd went into a frenzy. Minnesnowta fans tearing at Martha's hair and clawing out her eyes, while Chicago fans tore at her legs and feet to remove any evidence of sub-par footwear before the autopsy. Nothing was left of her for even the skaven food vendors to salvage for a postgame nosh.

Girls can be horrifyingly brutal sometimes.”