“E.L.F. Season XXVI
Game 7 Scoring
Baseline: 12 points (lower TV between 1201-1400)
Win: 10 points
TDs differential: 4 points (4 TDs for/0 TD against)
Casualties: 6 points
Bonuses: 2 points for shutout victory
Cat E (Humans & Stunties): 0 points
Total: 34 points

After the drubbing the team took from the norseman of the Cult Of Tv, I decided to give the cast and crew a well deserved break. An all expenses-paid vacation to The Moot! Henekka's Wee lil Gits were all too happy to host such a famous team and tv show stars, and offered to provide all the food and drink we wanted. This was nearly our undoing as most of the game there were no fewer than 3 of the Wood Walkers lingering in the dugout after the ball was kicked. Both teams put on a great show, and the fans were thrilled with the game. The cast's performance was much better than their last game, but I expected it to be. I shamelessly challenged the halflings to what I hoped would be a recovery match for us. It wasn't quite that, as the flings took out their anger at some recent Moot policy that I didn't really understand, but Norma, Shelly, and Big Ed paid the price. Ed will be fine, he was only Badly Hurt when Old Oak thumped him on the noggin, and the apothecary assures me Shelly will recovery from her Smashed Hand with no ill effects. Ever since she buffed up, she hasn't played 2 consecutive games in a row. Gonna have to see if I can get her a personal trainer to help her adjust to her body. Norma's ankle got smashed pretty good, and she'll walk with a limp but she says she can still play and I intend to put her back out there as soon as she's cleared by the apothecary.

Thanks for the fun game, Henekka. Your flings put up a good fight, and you nearly pulled off a TTM TD 2 times. Only the bad landing saved me. Wish I could have pulled off that 5th TD on T16, but Sheriff Truman was thinking so hard about completing the pass that he booted the ball trying to pick it up. I still think someone left a bunch of junk on the set and on the pitch, which was causing both of us to trip a lot. Must have been some debris buried in that snow from the 1st half, and the pitch crew didn't clear it in time. You're gonna have to talk to them about that. I hope to return to the Moot again in my travels. Maybe after we wrap up filming for the season.

The fans sent our ratings moving up again, but the producers are being stingy with the purse strings. Seriously, how many difficulties could they have in acquiring funding when this show is quickly climbing the E.L.F. charts (last update was ranked #7 for the season)? They tried to blame it on a certain sticky fingered fling named Iso mela Jim, but I don't believe that for a sec. Why would he pilfer our winnings purse? It wasn't our fault he got booted from the game for smashing poor Norma's ankle. Hmm, on second thought, where is that Sneaky Lil Git?

Skills (2):
Special Agent Dale Cooper - Side Step (5 2) Special Agent Cooper was on F-I-R-E tonight. 14 Blocks, 5 CAS including the vicius hit on Kulta Kalle that really rang his B-E-L-L. All that time on the firing range has really sharpened his instincts. He also nearly killed Puukko Jallu, the the Gits apothecary was able to patch him up and get him back in the game. Maybe I should have our apothecary spent a few days here in the Moot to get some extra training. I don't know if she's EVER gotten anyone back into a game that was more than Badly Hurt.

Deputy Tommy 'Hawk' Hill - Side Step (2 6) Deputy Hawk was also killing it tonight with 2 TDs, and possibly could have had a 3rd one if Sheriff Truman wouldn't have muffed the pickup as time was running out. The fans loved his performance, including a block that freed Deputy Brennan up for the team's 4th TD. Hawk is such a team player, and should now be even more elusive than ever. He's the best tracker out of his clan and should easily find a safe path to many more TDs.

UPDATE: Great news, Twin Peaks fans! After suffering 17 CAS in only 7 episodes, the FBI has decided to send Regional Bureau Chief Gordon Cole to assist Agent Cooper and Sheriff Truman in their investigation. Chief Gordon Cole is a seasoned professional in crime scene investigation, having successfully completed 100s of cases before being promoted. He should be able to help the cast get to the bottom of all these horrible injuries, and his leadership and presence will be very welcome. Deputies Hawk and Brennan can't wait to learn from his experience, and of course catch passes from his accurate hand.

Also, this was my 175th Ranked game.”