“Coming into this match on the back of an 8 game winless streak, the pundits were writing off the 'Saws early and bookies closed early when it emerged that a muddled Coach Chainsaw forgot to spend his monies on a new player or invite both available stand-ins, meaning the team was already down to 10 men before the sides had taken to the field.

Rumours of rampant alcoholism in the side were further borne out by a coach waving incoherent signals from the touchline and confusing his players. However, emboldened by beer, the players and their lack of fear and pain gave them the edge in the maul, injuring a succession of Piling Razors players and deciding the match by midway through the first half.

Better luck next time, Krusti. Nuffle was not with you today!”