“Incredible scenes from the Razordome, anarchy and pandemonium - even more so than usual - has broken out after a controversial ending to both this game and a long standing 'Saws record. This reporter's life is surely in danger, as fights between crazy punters and crazed bookies are leading to riots.

Going into this match, Team Chainsaw had failed to beat a dark elf team in 16 previous attempts, racking up 10 losses and 6 draws. Some bookies were refusing to take bets on the 'Saws failing to win their 17th encounter with dark elves. It was regarded as giving away money.

With MustaKaapo receiving in the first half, what followed was the usual affair between orcs and elves - MustaKaapo running rings around their greenblood opponents. Eventually the pressure was enough to force a touchdown with a couple of turns remaining, but with so much movement and skill, would the orcs be able to score? This is where the controversy began.

First a kick out of bounds, gifting the ball to Scorcha. The orcs got into position, the elves closed in. Confusion! No blitz! What happened!? A huge hole in the defense, and Scorcha dashed through to equalize.

The 'Saws received and grouped around the Bullet Bub, ball in hand. The elves probed, the orcs bashed them systematically off the field. The raucous crowd kill a MustaKaapo who is shoved over the sideline.

Then a slip, a blitzer goes down, and the elves have a chance! Bullet Bub is dropped, the ball bounces, and the big hand of Pantheon clutches it. There's no stopping the immense black orc as his abnormal strength and the orc numbers prove insurmountable. The victory is secured, and the winless streak against darkies is broken in game 17.

Those crazy enough to bet on a Team Chainsaw victory - and you had to be crazy to make that wager given the 16 match winless streak - were infuriated when rumours of match fixing caused bookies to refuse to pay out. The crowd, already rowdy with mixture of elation and shock, was swelling and the situation becoming increasingly combustible. As irate bookies closed their stalls, all hell broke loose.

The anger quickly turned from the bookies to the dark elves, with the fingers being pointed at them. Those not swift enough or foolishly brave enough to have hung around the stadium after the match quickly found themselves in a fight for their lives as rabid orcs sought to beat out any monies and recoup their losses. Soon all the local tribes were swarming in to the city and night parties were sent out after the dark elf fans - who were mostly long gone. Fortunately a few were caught and suitably robbed and executed, so expect fewer fans to turn up to the next MustaKaapo game!

Fortunately, this reporter is not a dark elf!

EDITOR'S NOTE: this report is pieced together from scraps of paper annotated by a missing reporter, and may contain mixture of past and present tenses.”