“Apologies for the late report, but this reporter is still in the midst of a week long celebration thrown by former player Ku Kana. More on that later!

For their 300th game (has it really been that many!?) the 'Saws were honoured to welcome GLT winners Dandelion Eaters. With a record of 0/0/3 against wood elves, the decorated elves and Coach Xcver were huge favourites and in confident mood.

Sometimes confidence leads to overconfidence. Receiving, instead of racing down the side to score quickly - a common elf tactic - the Dandelion Eaters held back in an attempt to narrow down the time in which the 'Saws could respond to the inevitable opening touchdown. A blitz stuns the main catcher. The elves make a bit more ground. The next orc blitz then hurts one catcher, a foul knocks the previously stunned catcher out, and the dirty player elf - afraid he was next in line for the boot - fell over as he panicked and tried to escape the nearby Barnacle.

Still, it the elves were in control, but the orc defensive line was solid and intimidating enough for Coach Xcver to marshall his players across the other side of the pitch. Then disaster strikes, the blitzing elf fails to go for it, and falls down. The catcher and ball are badly exposed and the orcs swarm. The catcher is thrown into the crowd, and another elf gets hurt on a block. An orc counter attack gets derailed by quad skulls, but crowd is eerily quiet - probably many of them having bet on how many the elves would score - as the orcs shut down any chances of a wood elf recovery before half time.

For the 2nd half, Eight elves lined up to defend against a full strength orc outfit. The crowd came back to life, with rousing applause and chants in an attempt to lift the spirits of the GLT conquerors.

In the earlier days of the 'Saws, this is where the team would start to unravel, giving chances to outnumbered opponents by aggressively going for an early score. This Chainsaw side is more meticulous and the greenbloods immediately hunted and hauled down Syrathar The Wanderer, the problematic wardancer. Barnacle sent off, it was now Deuces' turn to stamp his authority on the game. With a loud crunch, the orc lineman seriously injured the wardancer and permanently. A frustrated Coach Xcver held back the apothecary for the already damaged emerging star. "He's no help to us now, not in the reserve box."

Meanwhile Coach Chainsaw looked unusually glum. Betting against his own team again, I dare speculate!

The orcs caged and mauled but the elves hadn't given up yet, despite now reduced to just five in number including the tree. Varathis The Vanquisher, with the help of a guarding teammate, leapt in knocked out ball carrier Bullet Bub! The agile Adherel scooped up the loose ball but fumbled the punt, although still Ceoran caught the wayward throw. This is where the elf challenge ended, as Varathis and Thiaris got knocked out and Ceoran sacked. The ball is thrown to none other than Pantheon, the biggest and meanest orc on the 'Saws books, and 2 elves and a tree stand no chance of stopping him marauding the ball home for a famous winner - the first over wood elves back to back with the first ever win over dark elves. Incredible scenes.

Team Chainsaw have now won 4 matches in a row and are undefeated in 8, probably a record over their 300 game run. The Dandelion Eaters go home to lick their wounds - they'll be back, perhaps in a rematch with the 'Saws down the line. The bookies made a lot of money, with so few successfully predicting this outcome.

One of those to have profited was our own Ku Kana. The former super star - retired due to permanent injury - had fallen on hard times and was living in the streets just a few days ago. His gambling habit had gotten so bad that some time ago, on advice from a local shaman, he actually bet all his gold that the 'Saws would eventually get wins over both dark elves and wood elves. Ku recounted how the bookie laughed hysterically for nearly an hour before finally realising it wasn't a joke and accepting the orc's monies. He also recounted how the shaman later apologised, admitting to being under the influence of several substances when giving the advice.

The bookie was not laughing any more 2 years later when Ku returned to collect his winnings, initially refusing to honour the bet before Ku returned with friend and Chainsaw legend Razor, who was in town especially to watch the team on this special occasion.

With his winnings, Ku threw an immense party that is still ongoing, and I'm going back to it. Just before I left, Ku was busy losing what winnings he had yet to spend in a card game with Coach Chainsaw, apparently also out of pocket himself.

300 matches! Incredible, and thanks to the Dandelion Eaters and Coach Xcver for a memorable 300th!”