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Match Result · Ranked division
Match recorded on 2012-08-18 21:50:22
TV 1250k Dark Elf
2
Winnings 40k
7000 Spectators
+1 Dedicated Fans
Casualties 2/0/0
Inducements:
Human TV 1120k
2
60k Winnings
Spectators 13000 (1 FAME)
Fanfactor +1
3/1/0 Casualties
Inducements: Star player Helmut Wulf
Player Performances
 
 
td
comp
cas
int
mvp
spp
turns
pass
rush
block
foul
#1
-
-
2
-
1
9
16
-
-
8
-
#2
-
1
-
-
-
1
16
7
11
3
-
#3
1
-
-
-
-
3
13
-
13
2
-
#4
-
-
-
-
-
-
14
-
-
5
-
#5
-
-
-
-
-
-
8
-
1
-
-
#6
1
-
-
-
-
3
15
-
6
-
-
#7
-
-
-
-
-
-
16
-
4
2
-
#8
-
-
-
-
-
-
10
-
-
1
-
#9
-
-
-
-
-
-
4
-
-
1
-
#11
-
-
-
-
-
-
12
-
-
2
-
TOTALS
2
1
2
-
1
16
124
7
35
24
-

#9 Fiona the Bruce – Groin Strain (MNG)
News Team Meet Match

The News Team was held to an honourable draw by the Reikland Razzlers, and of course began searching for people to blame for this sordid state of affairs. New anchor Krishnan Gurusome-Murdery came in for a lot of flak for his baffling decision to be injured by the first human to punch him in his spectacled face. The majority of the News Team, however, blamed the lineman Swavek who was filling in for the Razzler's injured thrower. His long, long, incredibly long pass sailed right over the heads of the News Team, into the hands of a blitzer, and away to the touchline.

The News Team is divided on how to deal with this man. Jeremy reckons we should use a big axe to kill him, while Sir Trevor favours the chokeslam. David Doombleby has secretly began filming a biopic of Swavek on the offchance he hits it big. With full access to the BBC's Olympic cameras, he's been following him around in a car with dark windows, filming everything in slow-motion and overlaying it with Sigur Ros music.

In this reporter's opinion, you solve no problems if you don't axe the right questions

*pause for smirk*



Axeman, signing off.

Player Performances
 
 
td
comp
cas
int
mvp
spp
turns
pass
rush
block
foul
#1
-
-
-
-
-
-
2
-
10
-
-
#4
1
-
2
-
-
7
16
-
7
7
-
#6
-
-
-
-
-
-
16
-
6
2
-
#7
-
-
-
-
1
5
16
-
-
4
-
#8
-
-
-
-
-
-
16
-
-
6
-
#10
-
-
-
-
-
-
4
-
10
-
-
#11
-
2
-
-
-
2
10
11
6
2
-
#12
-
-
-
-
-
-
16
-
-
4
-
#13
1
-
2
-
-
7
16
-
13
10
-
#17
-
-
-
-
-
-
16
-
-
4
-
#18
-
-
-
-
-
-
16
-
-
6
-
TOTALS
2
2
4
-
1
21
144
11
52
45
-
This certainly wasn't a game of perfect cages and slow plodding drives. The ball moved all over the field as the Razzlers decided to play elf bowl however most of the players caked the required skill except for Swavek. He saved the game more than once for the Razzlers and could even be an Elf in disguise.
 
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