“Things looked grim when in just the 2nd turn, the impressive troll Detritus smashed the 'Saws star player to the floor, a crumpled bloody heap barely resembling a black orc. The apothecary was thrown on to patch up a damaged Pantheon, who will still not recover before the next game from the hit.

Quattro was in no mood to give up the 'Saws 5 match unbeaten run in which the revitalised orcs have not conceded a single touchdown. He reached out a giant hand to intercept a pass after the home defense had forced Mozzerman's team to attempt the score, setting up a Team Chainsaw 1-0 half time advantage and receiving the kick after the break.

As the Snottenham Hotwaaaaarghs tried to keep out the 'Saws drive, a fan favourite Van Der Vaart was pushed into the crowd. The star blitzer was one of many dead bodies left behind after a stampede of adoring fans descended on his position, but the apothecary managed to revive him much to Coach Mozzerman's relief.

Without the blitzer on the field, it was an uphill struggle to prevent the 'Saws scoring a 2nd and sealing the victory.

Worst performance of the day went to "star player" Ugroth Bolgrot. Fans pelted the grumpy orc who would later blame the lack of opportunities to use his chainsaw and that he admits he's useless without it.”