“Arr!!!

Th Tour o' Grudges be startin' with a right fine game. Shame about th' state o' th' pitch, it bein' th' most sorry excuse fer a Grindball pitch I ever be seein'.

Th' crew be doin' me right proud, showin' them thar' Dwarves how t' play th' game. We be startin' th' game fast 'n gettin' a quick jump on th' slow witted Dwarves, who were still tryin' t' figure out how t' set up. 'n some poor ball handlin' skills by their worm riddled runners allowed us t' score two quick touchdowns against th' wind.

Th' second half be seein' us score quickly makin' th' stunted sons o' goats look like a bunch o' fishwives. Th' Dwarves finally be startin' t' pick up how things be done 'n stated t' concentrate on th' violent side o' th' game. They even be managin' t' get th' ball relatively near our endzone, but "The Don" be doin' us proud 'n knockin that thar' Dimrod Ironfist t' th' floor. Him bein' t' only one o' them thar' foul breathed Dwarves who seem t' know they be needin' th' ball.

All in all it be a fine night fer th' Shipwrecks 'n a fine night fer a bottle o' rum.”