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Match Result · League division
Match recorded on 2014-09-25 23:46:23
TV 1550k Dark Elf
2
Winnings 70k
14000 (1 FAME) Spectators
+1 Dedicated Fans
Casualties 0/0/0
Inducements:
Chaos Dwarf TV 1220k+330k
0
10k Winnings
Spectators 12000
Fanfactor No change
2/0/0 Casualties
Inducements: Star player Hthark the Unstoppable
Player Performances
 
 
td
comp
cas
int
mvp
spp
turns
pass
rush
block
foul
#1
-
-
-
-
-
-
2
-
-
1
-
#4
1
2
-
-
-
5
15
3
15
8
-
#5
-
-
-
-
-
-
12
-
-
1
-
#6
1
-
-
-
-
3
15
-
10
-
-
#7
-
-
-
-
1
5
7
-
-
-
-
#9
-
-
-
-
-
-
14
-
-
2
-
#10
-
2
-
-
-
2
9
-7
-2
-
-
#12
-
-
-
-
-
-
12
-
-
1
-
#14
-
-
-
-
-
-
15
-
-
-
-
#15
-
-
-
-
-
-
5
1
5
-
-
#16
-
-
-
-
-
-
15
-
-
3
-
TOTALS
2
4
-
-
1
15
121
-3
28
16
-
  1. NCBB Ssn XX, Out-of-Conference Game 1

An appropriately chaotic game, tougher than it might have looked on paper, and only repeated elf-balling kept the final score from being 0-2. Buffalo induced Hthark, St 5 Blocking Bull, who added another Break-Tackle blitzing threat to their mix and meant that Texas was cleanly outmuscled, and the final 16:58 blocking total reflects that!

The short version is that Buffalo would fail a 4+ SH pickup or snake a Sure Feet roll, then Texas would pull elf-ball magic to get the ball. Then Buffalo would mark every dodger with Tackle and search in vain for a Pow against a DElf blodger ballcarrier, then Texas would fail a dodge on their first move and use a RR, and then fail something else before achieving solid position, barely able to scramble from one Turn to another until, finally, putting together a string of "not 1's (or 2's)" for the score.

Or Texas would fail several rolls outright early in the Turn, and then it would start all over again.


Buffalo chose to receive, and Texas put the ball short to one side. After failing the High Kick and knocking out a Lino, they set up a screen on that side and made the SH pickup, but snaked one unnecessary GFI - ball loose near the sideline on the LoS. Texas broke the corner of the screen and recovered with a double-GFI Pass back behind a solid screen of their own, and just that fast offense had changed to defense and vice versa to start Buffalo's Turn 2.

Buffalo predictably punished the sacrificial passer with a surf into Reserves (going up 11:9 players), and pushed up hard against the entire Texas screen, isolating 2 Aggro players and marking every Dodger with a Tackler. Texas fell back deep, but had to RR the first dodge, so could only set up a safe 2-man screen before failing their 2nd dodge. Hthark BH'd the Witch (11:8) and marked the ballcarrier on the 2, and isolated more DElfs, again ensuring no Dodge skill could be used (except the ballcarrier's). Texas had to break a man free for a pass, but snaked the first dodge - things looked bad for Texas, Turn 4 about to start.

But if Texas's dodging dice had gone cold, so had Buffalo's blocking dice when it mattered, and 6 Loner dice could not find a Pow on the ballcarrier, and they had to settle for knocking down every other Texas player, save one who was quite surrounded on the far side of the field, and adding a Dwarf Tackler to the Mino marking the ballcarrier. Growing more desperate and with every player marked (and all Dodgers marked by Tacklers), Texas again failed their first move dodge, using their last RR, but needed a second dodge to get a receiver free - but this time succeed in NOT rolling more 1's, passing the ball to a lone player just past midfield to end Turn 4.

Buffalo chain-pushed their SH Bull free to Break Tackle thru a 2-man semi-screen for the Blitz, but again failed to find a Pow despite using their last RR - 10 dice, no Pows. No RR remaining, Texas got away with some "not 1" risks and were able to push the ball to the 3, semi-screened by 2 other players in range to cover if necessary.

And that's when snaked bit Bufallo, as a Sure Feet assist failed before the blitzer could break free to start Turn 5, allowing Texas to screen the 2 BT Bulls, the only players in range. Buffalo tried a quadruple-dodge Blitz, which failed but did put enough pressure on Texas to encourage the T6 score and face the Turn 7 LoS, which saw a Blitzer KO'd by the Mino and then a Blocker fouled out BH'd, but kept in the game thru Apo for the 2nd half, Texas 1-0 and receiving.


For the Turn 8 + 9 Kickoffs, Texas had only gone 1 for 3 on KO rolls, so could only field 9 players facing 10, the Witch and a rookie Blitzer out for Texas (and a Buffalo Hobglin hit by a Rock and their DP banned Turn 8), but nothing went wrong Turn 1 as they pushed the cage right up the middle with the MA 8 ballcarrier on the 7. Buffalo surrounded the cage, putting 2 bulls paired w/ dwarves marking the cage front, before trying a 4+ BT 1d-Blitz with Hthark through the cage, but that failed. Texas had only a 2+ dodge to make for the 2-0 lead - and that snaked, and it was a new dogfight with Buffalo enjoying the positional advantage, made even worse as a Texas Wrestler and Blitzer were KO'd, 7 facing 10.

But then it was again Buffalo's turn to be dicebit just a little at exactly the wrong moment, as the Ag 2 SH pickup failed, leaving the door open. Texas started the recovery by needing to use Dodge to clear the player, made the pickup in TZ but then had to RR the second dodge to break clear to pass the ball - looked like the curse was still active - but the ball was not only cleared across the field, but accurately and caught! But Buffalo popped it loose, and surrounded it to end Turn 4.

Turn 5 Texas could only sigh as they used their last RR in the very first dodge, and the next turns were maneuvering around the ball, which Buffalo failed to pickup without SH after using their last RR on a skulled block. And Texas, again, Turn 6, put together another short string of "not 1's or 2's" to recover and GFI for the 2nd score, 2-0.

On the last kick, Texas had a chance to score again as they repeated the start of the game, turning the corner and recovering the short kick that had been dropped with a backward pass into a screen, but Turn 8 (almost predictably) failed a dodge to clear the pass with the receiver in the endzone - and Ag 2 could not recover for the 6+ pass, game over.


Quite the dogfight despite the final score, and with some team skills Buffalo will only become tougher.
Player Performances
 
 
td
comp
cas
int
mvp
spp
turns
pass
rush
block
foul
#1
-
-
-
-
-
-
15
-
-
10
-
#2
-
-
-
-
-
-
15
-
2
6
-
#3
-
-
-
-
-
-
15
-
-
4
-
#4
-
-
-
-
-
-
15
-
-
5
-
#5
-
-
-
-
-
-
14
-
-
6
-
#6
-
-
-
-
1
5
15
-
-
10
-
#7
-
-
-
-
-
-
15
-
-
1
-
#8
-
-
-
-
-
-
15
-
-
4
-
#14
-
-
-
-
-
-
7
-
-
4
1
#15
-
-
-
-
-
-
8
-
-
1
-
#16
-
-
-
-
-
-
7
-
-
-
-
#90
-
-
1
-
-
2
15
-
-
7
-
TOTALS
-
-
1
-
1
7
156
-
2
58
1
Coach Shades is steaming as the Buffalo Team leave the pitch after losing the opening game of the season, hes not pissed from the loss, his temperament comes from the fact that every member of the team is laughing their heads off as they head back to the dressing room.

*Shades*
"WHAT THE HELL IS SO FUNNY, YOU GUYS KNOW YOU JUST LOST RIGHT...... WHO'S GOING TO EXPLAIN THE JOKE I'VE OBVIOUSLY MISSED"

the dressing room is suddenly silent and Every member of the Bulls takes a step back except Peta "pet" Teacz who was still doubled over in a fit of hysterics.

*Shades*
"RIGHT PET THIS BETTER BE GOOD COS DOCS LOOKING HUNGRY"

*Peta "pet" Teacz*
"Wel yu se boss a cupel o teh lads were angin out wid thos gobos from teh siens d part mnt an they go t talkin bout dis new stuf they scoverd tats ben caled SlapNSlip(c)"

*Shades*
"WHAT IN NUFFLES NAME IS SLAPPY NIPPLE"

*Peta "pet" Teacz*
"SlapNSlip(c) boss"

*Shades*
*FLOPPY SLOP*

*whole team*
"SlapNSlip(c) boss"

*Shades*
...

*Peta "pet" Teacz*
"basicly its this goo we spred on the field last night dat makes evefin as sliperE as greasd centoor shit, we figurd dose pesky elfs would fall over with al dat dancin dey do and we gone fitted these extra spikes to our shoos so we dona slip"

*Shades*
"HHHmmmmmmmm not bad not bad so what went wrong"

at this point the entire dressing groom explodes in laughter

*Peta "pet" Teacz*
"Wel ya see boss we as forgoten bout da Centaurs hoofs ana we"

*Shades*
...

*Peta "pet" Teacz*
"Sorry boss but i cana hep meself anymor ..... was lik watchin a nu born cow trin to run on ice"

*Shades*
"RIGHT YOU LOT LISTEN HERE WE DO NOT LAUGH AT DEFEAT, EVERY SINGLE ONE OFF IS ON A LATRINE DUTY FOR A WEEK"

*whole team*
....

*Shades*
"thats got ya attention now hasn't it, right now enough of this nonsense, the lot of ya get changed and bugger off and no more cheating without telling me first.... DISMISSED"

Shades waited until the dressing room was completely empty before bursting out with laughter and doubling over on the floor

*Shades*
"Nuffles balls that was almost worth losing for, right now wheres those science gobos, I gota get me some of that trippyslip or whatever ol Pet called it, could be quite useful in the future"

Shades wanders out of the dressing room whistling
 
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