“This one was a "for laughs" game. I didn't care whether the dice were good or bad. They were bad as per the usual, but at least I had fun dumping my ENTIRE TREASURY (740) into the match. No bench of skinks vs orcs? Oh yeah, THIS game was going to go well. Wizards, babes, chefs, bribes...

I didn't expect the star players. I didn't even know the orcs had a chainsaw. Took my second -AG for the team on the Apothecary; I'd bought an additional one and they both failed (-AG -> Kill, -ST -> Kill).

We kicked off first half and got squished pretty fast, as the little girls who thought they were men got sent home to their mommas in a box quite quickly. I blew my fireball early when they clustered around me, but failed to do any real damage, and was out-positioned without my opponent breaking a sweat (breaking my armor on the other hand, was the theme of the day). We held them to only one TD, which was more than I was expecting given how much I felt I was outclassed. Turn 8 was a kickoff before the half, but first block was (no surprise) a doubleskull.

He used the Exploding Runes on his goblin on the turn 8 kickoff, but it was a Get The Ref, which I expected him to use on Bomber Dribblesnot in order to keep one bomber in the game. He didn't, and it was a failed bribe, so the goblin escapes to fight another day.

Second half I received, but luck was not to be had today. First half was one stolen reroll, second half, zero stolen rerolls. Those halfling chefs are going to be my lizards' next meal! Then the kickoff result was a Perfect D further cramping up my plans. We mixed it up on the pitch for a bit until a doubleskull gave me an opening... but as per the usual, 1s For The 1 God and I am unable to capitalize on the dodge (they had no tackle). A risky one die block pays off but AGAIN on the dodgefail means no ball for me.

Late game was a dicing, with KOs and injuries on every hit plus the ref in the orcs' pocket concerning fouls. I couldn't compete, so he wins 3-0.”