“Clive! Clive, speak to me. Clive? Ah, he'll be all right. Stupid tree, falling over on a blitz, scared the wits out of me. Yes Clive, I'm sorry, I did ask you to push, good on you for giving it your best. Yes I know you wanted a casualty on your record, always ready to serve the company.

Ah, Orcs, a struggling team of mostly linemen, I know the feeling! They treated us with respect on our receive, and we kicked them while they were down for it. Casualties R Us, BUY, SELL, or EXCHANGE, but there will be casualties! Guaranteed.

Anyway, once they finally closed in, young Cracked Ribs had the ball all along so Clive heaved him over the top at perfect range to run it in. Couldn't have planned it better myself. Excellent work chaps.

Of course, then the other side gets the ball, and we were up in numbers so I directed the lads to try and improve that further. It worked too, but perhaps not well enough after a couple of sending offs. Damnable Refs, no respect for the finer points of the game. Anyway, they scored just on half time, and then received again.

With numbers a bit tight, we tried to chase down their stars, soften them up rather than wasting everyone on the ball like usual (well, one or two attempts, but it wasn't looking at all promising). That didn't work either of course, their Stephen Orcing doing a brutal job picking at the edges of us as we picked on their fallen, keeping numbers to their advantage. Then Clive tried to up and die on us, which was most upsetting. We'll look for an easier game next up to let him recuperate. I didn't even think he had a groin to strain.

So their kick was long at the death and we had no time to tie things up, a last foul to remember us by and it was all over, a comfortable win. Frozen Shoulder will be back, but Clive won't be! This team, just not having the best time. Not to mention the coaching!”