“First mirror game against a much more experienced coach and team, better stock up on those bribes because this could get nasty…

Match Highlights:

The U-dogs receive and try a run down the wing but it is cut off by Axis players and the ball is knocked into touch near the 4 yard line. The throw in lands near the centre spot where the two teams’ trolls are trading insults – “Yo mamma iz so ugly she iz uuuuur….dunno… Wazza Yo-mamma?” (slap each other in the face for a bit) “Well your farther smelt of ogre dung” (pause to splat a gobbo) “You’ve met him then?” “Duuuuh?” (long pause to try and work out the meaning of the contraction) – After a brief tussle the U-dogs regain control of the ball as Seem-natses snatches it up and runs to shelter behind Gerald and Ber’anx only to find himself being hurled through the air towards the endzone, he, surprisingly, nails the landing, more by instinctual self preservation than any form of non-existent training, and is shocked to discover his route through to score is open - 1-0 U-dogs. The AoA attempts to equalize before half time but the U-dogs are able to hold them back so carry the lead into the second half.

There is a short delay to the restart as the two teams try and identify to whom the various body parts littering the field belong and the coaches undertake a head count to see who caused the most casualties (and to make sure all the surviving gobbos ended up back in the correct team’s dug out). The U-dogs have 3 gobbos and 2 rats out of action where the Axis of Anarchy team have only lost 2 gobbos, things are looking grim for the U-dogs.

Second half starts and AoA easily find their way around the reduced U-dog line up with skaven linerat Errico Malatesta coasting in for an easy score only for him to be brought down by the sort of desperation covering blitz that has come to typify the U-dog defensive play. The ball ends up in a ruck of players around the U-dog 7 yard line and neither team can take control for several turns until Odeen-natses is knocked backwards onto the ball and it bounces neatly into the hands of AoA blitzer Pierre-Joseph Proudhon who is able to run in to level the scores. Meanwhile Axis Troll Guy Fawkes has been suffering a prolonged bout of stoopid and has failed to take any part in the 3rd quarter’s play, for which the U-dog coach has promised the troll a very large ice-cream after the match as a reward. The battered U-dog team line up its 5 surviving players for the requisite TTM attempt but the AoA bring down the prospective greenskinned projectile before launch and the bouncing ball some how ends up lodged in Guy Fawkes’ arm pit. The troll sets off down field with all his team screaming at him to give the ball to William Goodwin who is in an un-marked scoring position but the reat oaf manages to slip on a patch of ice, falls, almost on top of Goodwin and the ball is dislodged from his pit bouncing out of reach of the AoA player. So final scores are 1-1 but honours go to the Axis of Anarchy for causing 5 casualties to the U-dogs 2.
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