“The final match of the season in the Frozen Sea Conference for The Order was a rematch of the first match of the inaugural season - a brutal tussle with Graeling's Philosophers during which the mighty ogres scored five cas, including a fatality. As Jarl Shraaaag pointed out in his recent history of the league this was merely the first in a string of six on-pitch murders that gave the Philosophers an unrivalled reputation. Also unrivalled, according to Jarl Shraaag, was the gentleness of The Order's Týr Gunnarr, whose pillowed hooves permitted him 64 blocks without causing harm.

The stage was set then for a clash between brawn and, well, something other than brawn. Would the ogres cut another swathe through the diminutive Order? Could the dwarves avenge their dead brother? Would anyone get killed by a spiked ball? Everything hung in the balance as the Philosophers kicked off.

Not content with hoofing it down the field the ogres decided to run after it too, before The Order even had a chance to move. The Philosophers made clever use of the Blitz! to throw a happy snot to within two squares of the ball lying in the endzone putting the short-legged dwarves under serious pressure. The Order were lucky to recover and quickly killed the snot for his brazenness. Then, while several of the ogres spent a couple of turns discussing the philosophy of the sport, The Order quietly moved the ball upfield and eventually scored.

The Philosophers decided to forgo trying the one turn flying snot equaliser before halftime in favour of pursuing an inquiry into the inner workings of hobgob Yngvi Njörðr, with fatal results.

In the second half the ball was quickly in the gigantic hands of the Philosophers' leading scorer, a blocking, tackle-breaking machine. He was looking upstoppable until he stayed behind for a moment to ponder dialectic materialism while the rest of his team went on without him. After he was sacked a snot stepped on the ball which, in a freak accident, shot out sideways and stabbed the big fellow senseless, allowing The Order to recover the pigskin for a second goal.

A much tighter game than the score suggests with Jarl Edgard hampered greatly by the volatile behaviour of his big guys.

No skills for the winning team as Týr Gunnarr added another 7 blocks to his victimless tally and with one of two skilled hobgobs gone to meet the Snow King The Order looks bruised and undermanned as it turns its attention towards the post-season for the very first time.”