“That was, without a doubt, one of the most pathetic displays of the elven passing game I have ever taken part in. I should have known I was supposed to keep the ball on the ground when two of my three catchers were badly hurt in the first turn, but the idea of playing a non-passing game is one I don't really understand. Anyway, we're wood elves - we can all be catchers.

So having dutifully failed my first throw, it was nice to see that Mr_Lemon did the same on his first go. However, I wasn't able to capitalise on it, because I was also failing all my dodges. So I tried hitting instead, and that seemed to work quite well. Suddenly the high elves were losing players quicker than I was - and the ones that were still on the pitch were showing that their gfi rolls were just as bad as their passing. Still, the Dark Tower Kings are a tough little bunch, with more side step than you can shake a stick at, and almost as much tackle, so they were able to squeeze in a second score just before the half.

The second half was messy - not in a violent, blood-soaked way, more in a can't pick-up, can't pass, can't catch sort of way, so there was no scoring until I finally managed to combine all three elements successfully for once and made it to within one square of the endzone. I could have stopped there, but it seemed like the right thing to do to give Mr_Lemon the chance for a one-turner so I went for it, failed... and then made it.

The one-turn attempt was looking good, despite my careful set-up and Mr_Lemon was, I think one block away from going for the big run when a senior moment made him misplace one of his players and it was all over - apart from a last-turn token pass for a point - which he failed to catch, of course.

A draw was a fair enough result, I think, seeing as how we were both playing like a bunch of dwarves. Well, gentle dwarves, anyway. No one died or long-termed on either side.

So it's back to the training field for me. That's two games in a row the thrower has misbehaved and I don't intend to make it three. However, on the plus side, I'm still getting games against elves, so even when I mess up on the passing game, I still manage 4 for 32 with the passer.

Thanks, Mr_Lemon. I'm off to hide my head in shame now, but when I resurface, I'll come looking for that rematch.”