“Well, that was a little bit one-sided, and for once, I was on the big side. I think it was probably my most decisive game ever - not my biggest win, but certainly my biggest defeat of an opponent if you take the cas into account as well.

It began promisingly enough for the goblins, with the fanatic laying into the loners on the line of scrimmage, stunning two of them. The loony then failed to injure the wardancer on the blitz, but at least he stayed on his feet, and although the Hail Mary bomb was caught by my lineman, so was his own throw to the ball-carrier, so the bomb finally exploded in an empty space, knocking over one of my players.

My first action was a block against the chainsaw, which sent the little fella off to the SI box. Things were clearly looking good for me, so I went straight to the tree who was going to block the goblin standing beside him. He took root. Then he double skulled. And that was my turn.

The fanatic continued to mash and bash, but only managed a KO. Meanwhile, in the backfield, the pogoer had the ball and was gearing up for his first score, courtesy of a throw from a troll. Another bomb finished the turn by knocking over a wardancer.

The tree took root again, so I was forced to pile most of my team around the fanatic and try for the 1-dice blitz, which resulted in a KO. I put the bomber in a TZ and did what I could to slow down the goblin/troll cage that was heading towards my endzone. But Noerciux was in no mood to stall (even though he would have liked to) as he was starting to loose players too quickly, and with none of his secret weapons available anyway, he nipped in to open the scoring.

Right, offence time. Let's get the passing game going... except that the thrower was still KOd from the previous drive. Ho hum. Still, I found a rookie to cover for him and got the ball comfortably down to my ST4 lineman comfortably out of range of the trolls. The goblins tried their hardest, and were able to muster a 2-dice blitz, but all they managed was a pushback and after a bit more bashing from the wood elves to clear some space, the lineman ran in the score.

And now the casualties were beginning to tell on the Buccannerz. The KOs stayed out, the secret weapons were off, the trolls were failing their really stupid rolls and the remaining goblins were basically skill-less. And the wood elves were being completely and uncharacteristically violent. Hardly a turn went by in which I didn't injure another goblin, and then steal the ball, and then score. I was trying to score as quickly as possible, to spare the goblins any more pain, but the pain just kept on coming anyway. For Noerciux's final two dives, he only had four players and so there was nothing he could do.

He did manage to throw the ball-carrier at one point, but he mistimed his landing and allowed me to get the ball once more. And whenever I got the ball, I scored. Apart from that first turn double skull and a couple of take root rolls, I don't think I failed a single thing all game - certainly nothing vital - and even a full squad of skilled goblins would have been hard-pressed to stop me with that amount of luck on my side. And of course, Noerciux was very far from having a full squad for most of the match.

So an absolute drubbing for the poor goblins this time out. I guess it does happen from time to time, but I guess it's also hard to bear when it happens, and especially when it happens so catastrophically. (As a side note, I had to go off and do stuff straight away after the match and by the time I came to write this report, I noticed that the Buccannerz had already played another game, which they won 3-1 without injury, so congrats Noerciux on getting back to your winning ways.)

But there's no denying it, it was a great game for the woodies in every possible way. The thrower came away with 4 for 31, which is reasonable. The MB wardancer notched up five cas, and I ended the game with more fans, lots more gold and 5 skill rolls - two of which were +AG! If I had to find something negative to say, I could complain about the tree only getting in three blocks in the whole game - a combination of taking root and two perfect D rolls - but really any complaining would be churlish and ungrateful.

Sadly, what goes around, comes around. The immediate future is unlikely to be so rosy.”