“Ouch, followed by yawn.

We started off on offence, only to have the kick-off result give the humans a blitz. They couldn't make it to the ball, but it did give Helmut Wulf a chance to have a go, and he made the most of his time, seriously injuring a catcher on the front line.

I then got the ball all the way down to just outside the human's endzone, safely out of reach and ready for a score on the following turn, so Helmut had a go at the tree and broke his armour.

After the score, the humans chose to grind out the half, keeping the ball in a cage of guarding blitzers - except when the blitzers chose to nip out and hit things. The wood elves got knocked down a lot, except when they were falling over of their own accord, and needless to say the turn 8 score was never in any danger of failing.

The second half was more of the same. Grind, grind, grind. Cage, cage, cage. Bash, bash, bash. Splat, splat, splat. I did have a couple of opportunities to break-up the cage with the tree, but he continued to fall over whenever he was asked to do anything , and yet again, the turn 8 score was a predictably straightforward affair for the humans.

And with only five players for my final turn and my side-stepping MA9 catcher having just been BH on the previous turn, I couldn't even manage the one-turner.

So there you have it. Moving swiftly on...”