“I do like playing up against strong elven teams - it has two real functions...

One is that I get to see how better coaches than me play better teams than mine - which is actually a lot of fun, as well as being informative.

And two is that there's never any chance of being greeted by a chainsaw on the kick-off.

So anyway, here I was again, 550K down on my opponent and really not expecting much from the game except maybe a bit of passing and not too many injuries. I was fielding five journeymen, a merc lineman and two stars, but the core of the team was my own, and was in pretty good shape.

And the game pretty much played out the way I expected it to, except for the fact that I did a lot better than I was expecting to. The Brigade scored quickly and easily, and then I muffed a catch for a score on my first drive and this led to another Brigade score.

I pulled one back two turns later, basically by running almost my entire team downfield and hoping one of them stayed relatively free to receive the catch - which he did. Relezite then chose to keep his 2-1 advantage and not risk an unnecessary one-turn attempt, so I got the ball (and all my KOs) back to start the second half.

And that started in perfect style with a quick snap - allowing me to run in a one-turn of my own - and then a blitz.

Sadly, I wasn't paying much attention at this point, and didn't realise the ball was not actually about to land on the side of the pitch, but was heading for a throw in. So I ran most of my team off to one side of the field, blitzed with my thrower instead of my wardancer because I was trying to read phone messages instead of concentrating on the game, and generally handed the score to Relezite on a plate.

My final offensive drive then ended rather pathetically in a fumbled pass - twice. And once you give up the ball like that, that's as much of a slim chance as the Slim Chance Brigade need. They picked out the loose ball from among a mass of players and casually threw it downfield to a waiting catcher, who then spent several turns enjoying the sight of my tree falling over again and again before securing the comfortable win.

But as I say, I still managed a better performance than expected. No one (important) was injured or died, and I managed to find 53 yards passing despite the muffed catch and late fumble.

And I could afford a replacement wardancer. So to those fans who abandoned me I say, stuff you! We're on the way back up... and if you'd like to come back next time, that will be okay.”