“Goblins...they're brilliant. Doesn't matter if you're playing with them, or against them, they are always a lot of fun.

Sadly today's game wasn't the most exciting from the secret weapons point of view as there was only really one drive where they were all active, and although dabassman did end up with 3 bribes, it just wasn't enough. I particularly like Baldrick McCaine, the Hail Mary bomber, who has been battered and bashed until he's almost unrecognisable but who still comes back for more every game.

The wood elves received and straight away the extreme sunlight faded away, allowing me to get straight on with the passing game. With no chainsaw or ball and chain on the field the sensible thing would have been to stall out the entire half, use my tackling wardancers to thin the ranks of goblins and force dabassman to have to bring on his secret weapons for the very final turn.

But how dull would that have been! Instead, I scored as fast as I could and then faced up to the goblin offence like a real man...elf. And I was rewarded with a perfect defence, which is kind of rude, I know, but sportsmanship only goes so far, so I legged it to safety while I still could.

A lot of bashing followed, as did a lot of leaping into a cage with AG5 and strip ball. It was tough and hard-fought, but in the end the goblins were able to run in a score, leaving both of us with just one turn each before the half.

So it was a pleasure to see that we both went for one-turn scores, and we both succeeded - the only downside of this being that dabassman really didn't have any secret weapons left for the second half.

Another long and challenging drive opened the play, but now the combination of sent-off players and injuries meant that the goblins just didn't have the depth to keep up with the relentless tackling wardancers. Even so, dabassman came so close to scoring the winner when my desperate blitz on the ball-carrier ended with 2 out of 3 failed go for its. All he needed was to make a single dodge, with dodge, and the game was his...

So, of course, the dice abandoned him, right at his moment of triumph and allowed the wood elves to get in another unnecessary long bomb for a score. Again, I could have stalled, but stalling is the devil's work and I won't have any of it, so I got my TD and gave dabassman the chance for another final-turn miracle...

...but the god of throw team mate wasn't having any of it, and that was that.

So I scraped a win, recovered some fans, blocked-up a couple of rookies and have a full squad for my next game. A very good result for me. But I can't help feeling I got off lightly and that dabassman was robbed of a victory. Still, maybe next time the tables will be turned - and there definitely will be a next time...several of them, hopefully, because dabassman is a good coach and fun to play against.

And maybe once I've finally got over my passing obsession, I might even get some goblins of my own. After all, throwing team mates is almost as much fun as throwing long bombs.”