“Match Report Game 5

Was this some kind of joke? Our promoter, PurpleVest, booked us into play an exhibition game at the Underworld Bowl, but when we got there, all we found was a rookie dark elf team in need of a training game.

Well we were damn well going to show these emos the way to play blood bowl. As we recieved, coach gave Fanatic Archie Dictomy the hand signal for the 'Distraction Carnifex' play, which worked a treat as he was able to pull thier whole team one way while we went another and Princess Beer Git broke her duck with a leaping TD!

Even a Blitz! couldn't stop them returning the score though, despite the best efforts of Fawcett Inn Stout convincing the ref he was part of the grounds maintenance team and his chainsaw was to do some weeding, then using it to KO a couple of sulky teenage goth wannabes.

The 2nd half saw the elves drop the ball, and as Tipsy Nipsy scooped it up, he was dumped over the railing and beaten to death by the ball boys union (there was no crowd). Again, we couldn't stop them scoring... BUT WHAT WE COULD DO WAS MAKE THEM SCORE!!

Fleegle Fluffmuffin (who else?)had the presence of mind to push the witch over into the end zone, and the ref blew with enough time on the clock to equalise. Fleegle duly obliged with a flying touchdown, courtesy of Frumpy Rumpy, and the gobs tied it up.

It was not over though, as there was one more act of heroism to come: Tenmil Sokhet laid down his life on the LOS by refusing to dodge, thereby denying the chain push for another TD attempt. “Blind” Dr. Unk was on hand to bring him back from the dead, with a sponge.

A stunning 2-2 win.”