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SEASON CONCLUDES WITH A DAMP SQUIB

The Kislev Cardinals had been flirting with the play-offs this season and the Unicorns were happy to be their wingmen, to the dismay of the home fans.

The hosts received and threatened to pour cold water on the Cards plans. Barry Gryson badly hurt Arden Key before he had a chance to pull his socks up. Thomas Leboucher, who was in the hunt for the season's most casualties crown, knocked out OJ Howard, who was still tying his laces. Logan Woodside took the ball in hand and found Richard Lane. The catcher dummied a hand-off to Bruno Giza.

Had he made the pass, he wouldn't have been sacked by Arion Hill but Eulin LaRath began a pretty unfortunate game by trying to pick a fight with Rafa Brigante who knocked him clean on his backside. Perhaps some residual luck from the Khornate Temple visited by the team before last week's game against Bel Aliad remained on Brigante's gloves.

Whilst the Cardinals were still trying to find their rhythm, Giza scooped up the ball and hared down the right-wing. Nobody could get close to him and he goose-stepped over the line, drawing a roar of delight from the Ültras.

Having killed one of the Unicorns great, pre-season hopes - Tancred Montfort - in the fifth game of the season, Arion Hill was openly targeted by the Übersreik team. Zachary Blaide managed to bump the blitzer into the crowd. It was a modest return for a team whose reputation for violence has been well-earned.

Anxo Murias knocked out Thornhill, who appeared to be the target for the visitors. Howard Wilson crossed the line unopposed to equalise before half-time and murmurs of discontent arose from the home fans.

The Unicorns tried to start the second half as strongly as the first but were only able to knock-out Hill via Leboucher. Ja'Whaun Bentley evened things up by knocking out Thornhill almost as soon as he'd shaken off the smelling salts and stepped on to the pitch. The Ültras were livid at the attack on one of the club's favourite sons and rained down snack wrappers and drinks cups on to the two dugouts.

In an attempt to gain the upper hand Landon Duad fouled Gryson, but was spotted and sent for an early bath. Blaide did the same on LaRath with more success, but the eagle-eyed official showed him a red card too. The fans, unafraid to express their ire, berated the referee, the players, and the staff with language we are unable to publish in this fine institution.

Rafa Brigante took the only meaningful hit of the game from Bentley and Vincent Tobale's only significant contribution was to carry the squigskin over the line and close out the game. The Ültras called for blood but it was too late.

In his post-match press conference, Coach Wilson made no apologies to the fans.

"The fans can boo all they like but I don't see many of them strapping on the armour themselves! We'll hold an open training session in the close season. If those fans want to stake their bodies and put their lives down as collateral, I'll take that bet!"

When pressed further, the Unicorns coach's tone changed: "We had little to play for today so it makes little sense to risk our players. I'm glad we gave Bruno the chance to add to his tally for the season. It was nice to give Ola the send-off he deserves after 15 games for us."

As for plans for the draft and beyond: "I am pleased to report that I've extended my contract for the coming season. Thanks to the board for putting their faith in me. I'll be strengthening the roster in the close season and I hope to announce some of the new faces in the coming weeks."”