“<< Warning - The following rift contains an Ear Worm.>>

Rogmesh was sure that Coach Oryx had read his musings on the last game. He had read about the interpretive expression and Elvish Dance Bosses. And he was apparently not amused that some Orcs had engaged in cultural appropriation. And in a 'Hold my Mimosa' moment said let's show them some real Elvish Haka! The god of Irony fell over dead.

The whistle blew and the Midlothians' ran back to their end zone and started doing the Blood Bowl Frug. Rogmesh had to admit, it was an impressive display of choreography, perhaps a lost bit of performance art from the great Bob Fosse. The grand finality came as the elves rushed forward and stood next to the sidelines. Rogmesh and crew didn't understand high art, but decided to play along for the 'show' and pushed them into the crowd so they could do the rock star crowd surf thing. Regardless of how bad the Booziers thought they had played last game, they were truly upstaged by this dance troop.

Now with all that early game Elf Boss stuff out of the way, we need to take a step back to the night before. Unbeknownst to Coach Oryx, there was deception afoot. Things were not as they seemed. In a Noir sting operation that would have made Bill Belichick proud, Rogmesh and the kids table were scheming. They had the perfect plan and went into the game knowing that they couldn't lose, because if you can't outplay them, Cheat!

Bashnag Ogrefield, the goblin, was not too sure it would work, but seemed to be a good sport about putting on the red dress and lipstick. As Bashnag graciously sashayed away in his high heels, Rogmesh thought to himself that this had to be his best plan, ever! It was flawless and not even a little bit snaggy. Rogmesh was indeed a master at spy craft. Rogmeshs' second thought was 'where did Bashnag learn to sashay graciously in high heels? Wait, What?

Back to the Sting operation. Bashnag turned out to be a much better at being an uncover agent than he had any right to be as he blended seamlessly with the elven cheerleading squad. They chatted about bling, and cheers, and about how dreamy Heliod the Bold was. After Bashnag had finished his drink, he seen his chance. He sit down his lipstick covered bottle. "I'm going to go to the ladies room to power my nose. Does anyone want me to bring them back a wine cooler?"

Bashnag quickly left the room and headed up to the bedroom of the head cheer leader. He was surprised the door was unlocked, but he managed. As he entered the room, he seen it. The cheerleading play book was sitting on the nightstand! Bashnag worked with purpose as he tied a rope to the overhead light and used some sort of modified shoe knot to dangle himself above the nightstand. <Cue cheesy spy movie suspense music> I'm not sure the name of the score, but it doesn't matter, it's already playing in your head. But you were warned!

Bashnag smiled as he reached down and grabbed the book simply labeled 'Cheers'. His red fingernail polish and green skin kind of matched the Midlothian's colors on the cover, but yet was somehow off slightly invoking a sense of unease, but whatever, Success! This game was as good as won. Bashnag yelped as the janky knot gave way and he fell on top the nightstand. It flipped over but worse, the picture frame of a shirtless Holiod the Bold that had been sitting on the nightstand broke. He got up, stuffed the picture into his boob pocket and kicked the bed. As he walked out of the room, he wondered what the purpose of all the climbing gear was for, but in spy movies, that's just how it's done.

Back to the game, Cheerleading playbook in hand. We now knew their cheers and we could counter with ours. Sneaky stuff indeed. So when they gave the signal to start the 'Give me' cheer, the goblin cheerleaders were a step ahead. We would start with "Give me a U!" And the crowd would respond- "U!" "Give me an 'N'!" "N!".

Then the Elvish cheer leader would start the actual cheer. "Give me a 'L'! "L!', "Give me an 'U"! U!. "Give me a 'C'! "C'! "Give me a 'K!" "K!" Give me a 'Y'!" "Y!". What's that spell?

"Un"
"Lucky!"

Things got even worse during the 'Let's Get' cheer. The Elven cheerleaders would start "Let's get..."
Goblins - "Un"
"Lucky!"
"Super"
"UN"
"LUCKY!"

Winning is easy when you have the opponents play book. Bill Belichick would be proud indeed.



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