“FA Cup Round 1: Thinned Smashers Fall to Beards

For Round 1 of the FA Cup the Box Elder Beards were set to face off with the historic NWBL Fleetwood Smashers. The Smashers team came in short of several of their marquee names after a violent season 9. Specifically of note, just 2 games prior, they played the Coal Butte Boozers to a win that cost them 3 of their players lives, including Legendary Blitzer, Blaze. Still of note though on the Smasher roster, fans were excited to Star Catcher, Cali, and Star Thrower Penelope still with all the fighting spirit to make a run against the rookie season Beards. Box Elder arrived with a healthy roster, but a good deal of apprehension as to the abilities of the aforementioned star duo.

The Smashers won the toss and elected to kick, leaving Cali on the bench for the opening defensive drive. The Beards recovered the ball quickly, and set to work mashing into the human defense. Here the Fleetwood staff employed an odd strategy of leaving their players prone for several turns instead of risk trading blows with the heavy handed Beards. This made the offensive drive relatively uneventful as the Beards gradually moved the ball forward while taking their hits with Arngrimm Addar and Bim Bonnlinn. While the Beards progressed the ball well, they weren’t able to do any significant damage to the Smashers. Instead Smasher Blitzer Butch drew first blood putting a shoulder into the ribs of Arngrimm while he was exposed, and the alarming crunch of bones breaking was enough to send Arngrimm out for the remainder of this match and the next - even after the medical staffs efforts. Still, the Beards pressed on, evening out the removals when Dalammer Dungrath slammed Bert to the turf, only to be brought back with medical intervention. Belli Bonnlinn jogged into the endzone turn 8.

The final turn of the half many of those in attendance rose to their feet to see the lithe and muscled form of Legendary Catcher, Cali, take the field. The audience held their breath as they watched her duck and dive within the scrum aided by her teammates, then to catch a perfectly thrown pass from Penelope, and sprint towards the end zone with a line of Beards standing guard. She covered the distance with ease, made it to the line of defenders and vaulted herself into the air, soaring end over end. The landing looked clear, but as she came out of her tuck, a Beard hand reached up and grasped an ankle, slamming her into the ground like a club. Cali did not get up, medical staff reported she would play again, but not in this match. The Smasher fans were silenced as they watched their squad head to the locker room at half with heads hung down.

Penelope roused the squad for the second half. She received the ball and retreated to scan the defense looking for holes. The Smashers managed to put the boot to a Beard lineman and take the numbers advantage early. The Beards stayed patient and attempted to win the scrum, but the contest was rough as the Humans fought with tenacity and wouldn’t go easily. Box Elder gradually started to pressure the ball, and Penelope was forced to make her move, sprinting up field and attempting a pass to lineman Looper, who fumbled the ball. The ball fell into the unsuspecting hands of Smasher Blitzer Bart, but the Beards were too close and in the ensuing turn were able to drop him. The ball took an Beard bounce and the match ended up with Buck Bellwaen scooping the ball up from the scrum and sprinting down the sideline to score 2-0.

Coach Buck Comments:

“This was our first real experience against the Super Stars you see at the higher divisions: the likes of Cali and Penelope. It makes it a different game to be sure. I don’t think we’re really built for that at the moment. Belli is a solid player, sure, but he’s nothing like Cali. She was in for one play and it's all anyone is talking about. I’d like to think that our more team based approach can be successful moving forward, but just the brief glimpse of what these players can do is concerning. Really worried about losing Arngrimm for the next round as well. He sets the tone for us with physicality. Without him, Bimm is our only true hitter. We’ll see how that pans out. We can say we beat the Smashers, yes, but after all their player losses it's hard to say we really beat
THE Smashers. Proud of the guys. Ready to see what the next round brings us.
”