“Rogmesh was mad, mad, mad with extra mad sauce! As he sat atop the Butte with his motley crew of thespians, he just couldn’t believe he had been upstaged by a snotling. Rogmesh stood up and with a grand sweeping hand gesture said in his best faux Shakespearean voice “Twas he a star, or Twasnt he?”

The day had started out well enough. Earlier Rogmesh had the best idea since rinsing his toothpaste with beer instead of water. Why not form a traveling troupe of ‘A’ list actors? Then tour games this season since he had nothing better to do. And when it comes to headliners, it just doesn’t get any more ‘A’ list than Patrick ‘The Boss’ Lear. Hell, he is listed as “AAA+” and is first in the ‘A’ list phone book.

Rogmesh had gone to the Halflings’ hobbit hole and explained to him his vision of the reenactment of Lears’ famous and heroic FA Cup victory. The opening act was going to really be a crowd pleaser. ‘Boss’ Lear was going to climb into the modified coffin that they had painted yellow and get flung across the pitch by a Doom Diver Trebuchet with some branch tied onto it to represent a treeman. Unfortunately, after Lear actually read the script, it was a hard pass by ‘The Boss’.

If you can’t get the AAA++ lister, then got to flip to the next page to the ‘Bs’. And as luck would have it, ‘B’ella Zumdapp, a halfling hopeful that use to play for Flatwoods lived close by and gladly volunteered to play the famous Patrick Lear.

With the opening act out of the way, it was time to cast for act two; ‘The Death of Sidney.’ OK, so here Rogmesh had used his artistic license and embellished a bit. And who better to play the lead part in Sidney’s death than Sidney herself. Her head was still wrapped in bandages and she was still under some heavy pain meds, but Sidney had a non-speaking part and she would be fine.
But who to play Camila? Well, for this role there was only one choice, the goblin, Bashnag Ogrefield of Cheer Book caper fame! When Rogmesh had stopped by and asked, Bashnag was immediately onboard. He rushed to his closet and pulled out a leather corset and some stiletto heels and suited up. Bashnag claimed to be a ‘Method’ actor and therefore needed to immerse himself into the role.
And now for the final act. Rogmesh cracked up laughing just thinking of how hilarious this closing act was going to be. But for this, he was going to need Shredder on Roids. Fortunately, the lab rat was available for the world premiere. Rogmesh struggled to explain the showstopper it was so funny. Rogmesh would stand there, and Shredder would drive his cart out and ‘Park’ next to Rogmesh! GAWD, that was going to bring down the house. Rogmesh and the Coal Butte Thespians, what could possibly go wrong?!

Well, it did. Bella got mangled in the flying coffin and their insurance got dropped. Bashnag was way to emersed in the Camila Dakamon role and still hadn’t taken off the leather or heels and the show ended hours ago, Sidney was now hooked on pain meds after a second hit to the head and Shredder on Roids was awaiting bail because he tried to enforce some enthusiasm after the flop of a third act.

Then there was Twasnt. Rogmesh was still steaming that Twasnt had stolen the show. Upstaged by a snotling. It all started in the second half when Twasnt was unleashed from the bench and was allowed on the pitch due to lack of better players. But as he stepped onto the grass, the crowd could sense *future greatest*. It was the hand cart he had to use to tote his balls onto the pitch that gave it away. Well, he put those immediately to work as he mustered up the pizzazz to -3D uphill block a werewolf. Then a ghoul put the snotling on his behind.

Now here we need to shift gears. Bashnag, cosplaying as Camilia, was really riling up the crowd for a gang foul on the prone lump of stink. I just have to say that here is where Coach Mellis really missed a golden opportunity. He had the snotling on the ground and he could have brought his ghoul up for support and then fouled with the Flesh Golem. In hindsight this was his best chance at clearing Twasnt off the pitch. And the second benefit would be that it would have sent a real message to the rest of the coaches in the NWBL – ‘I’m so badass, I’ll foul a snotling with a Flesh Golem!’. But a real opportunity lost to strike fear into future opponents IMHO.

But back to the star of the show. GAWD, what a game. After the missed foul opportunity, Twasnt got up, marked a ghoul and took the hit in the face. But Twasnt, using his plot armor just shrugged off hit after hit as the crowd cheered him on.

Then during the winning drive, he marked the werewolf to protect the ball carrier. The werewolf was not amused and did a 3d frenzy on Twasnt. Twas he successful? No, he Twasnt.

Rogmesh now needs to find a closing skit to replace that stinker of closing act that was the Rat Ogre Parking.
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