“When the Globo accepted the match invitation, the Chainsaw were delighted and really fired up to have their revenge for previous losses both official and unofficial. The whole "better than you" attitude really annoyed most of the team, even though Globo somehow always win. Coach Chainsaw bemoaned bad luck in the past, so perhaps the ball would fall his way this time. On this occasion Globo Gym Reloaded played host to the Chainsaws, so the team and fans had to venture out of the mountainous orc swamps into the, er, mountainous dark elf swamps.

The game started promisingly with a quick Globo touchdown, followed by a class Razor reply despite the Globos managing to temporarily knock the ball from his oversized hands. During the passage of play Hasselhof went down in agony as Prefect, who looked like he was playing on drugs, seemed to rip his hand straight into the chest of the elf, only for the apothecary to race on and somehow put everything back quickly enough for David to continue. The crowd cheered the blood and booed the repair job, but they seemed content knowing it was a taster of the action to come. They were not disappointed as after Razor had equalised, Just was spotted limping heavily - well, more spinning around in circles on the floor screaming propelled by his good leg spasming. "He'll never be the same again!" lamented Coach Lemmy who may have to retire Justin for his own good.

Shortly afterwards both Blades were forced to sit out the game through injury, serving them right for having identical names. Rumours that White is to expel Blade from the Globo Gym for being a "same-name-as-the-loser-orc... losers... loser" are stringently denied by his coach, holding a freshly delivered pizza box behind his back.

The rest of the first half, the Globos spent being systematically beaten up. Hasselhof managed to escape Razor's attentions down an exposed flank to send the Globos in to half-time with the lead.

The 'Saws hit back instantly after the restart, scoring a textbook Razor touchdown - the usual rush down the wing with a defensive shield. New thrower Dragor was beginning to show he was made of good stuff with numerous completions.

Determined not to lose to Globo Gym again, the Chainsaw smashed into the home side's offensive lineup, with a black orc managing to lumber up to the thrower and knock him down. Just as it looked like disaster had struck for the Gym, with new goblin Saremeps looking opportunistically at the ball rolling toward the score line, thrower Cotton McKnight picked himself up, stretched for the ball, and lobbed a spectacular throw downfield to star man Patches O'Houlihan. He fed the ball to Lazer whom raced over to score the best touchdown of the match and put Globo Gym back in the lead.

White proceeded to goad the Chainsaw players and delay the restart. A scuffle broke out, the referee got punched, and the game look set to be abandoned until Chuck Norris intervened and insisted the match be played out fully. This was warmly received by the crowd who were sick of all this ball play and were baying for blood. Incensed by White's mockery and inspired by the crowd, the away team tore into the elves.

First Patches went down clutching at his chest. Upon closer inspection, he was clutching his heart which Steam had just ripped out. The crowd roared in approval. Razor then thumped into Cotton, hitting him into next week meaning he'll miss his next match. The crowd cheered raptuously. Then, so ferocious was the Chainsaw attack, they forgot to cover Razor properly and he was brilliantly held off by what was left of the Globo defense. The crowd carried murmured, chatted, and generally ignored the play. Globo won the game.

When approached after the match, player Kate Veatch said, "Where was Peter? I told him I was bi!" Presumably she was concerned that he could have had an impact on the brutality of the game. White was found storming up and down the tunnel accusing his team mates of being pussies and dying too easily.

Coach Chainsaw was philosophical, "We may have lost, but who was better?" Then he grinned, showing the bloody spatter on his cheeks from where Patches O'Houlihan's beating heart had sprayed the people on the bench.

Coach Lemmy refused to speak to reporters, storming past yelling, "F*****g Chuck Norris!" The man himself was more receptive to questions, "The only beating I've seen more severe than that was, well, any time I've had to lay the smack down."”