“First there was Nuffle. Then there was the Chainsaw, managed by Coach Chainsaw. Then Nuffle created beastman Chainsaw, in honour of Chainsaw, to play against the Chainsaw. And it all got rather confusing.

This was a spectacle of a match, that saw copious violence, death, and great touchdowns as emerging stars and super star players mixed it up in a green versus mean match-up. A huge crowd, the biggest to date for the 'Saws, witnessed a game of true Blood Bowl quality as these two sides duked it out fearlessly for the full duration of the game.

Razor rushed home a typical first straight from the start. An adoring fan threw herself sacrificially from the upper tier of the stadium causing a brief delay whilst the Chainsaw dugout received a much needed clean as the groundkeepers mopped up her splattered remains. This commentator over heard the workers chatting, "Tharrr, that's the first time we've done this snice this place was built." Sta'nac the troll looked on despairingly as layer upon layer of filth and grime was removed. The delay provided an excellent opportunity for the Goats to have a teamtalk whilst the home players argued furiously with the ground staff over the cleaning of their pit.

Immediately their plan became obvious. Opening up a gap tempting enough for Razor to catapult into, they quickly closed it, knocking him down and gang fouling the super star before his team mates could react. He's tough, and was only mildly injured, but enough damage was done to force him out of the match. Concerned, realising that his one man team was down to a bunch of losers, Coach Chainsaw grabbed the apothecary by the scruff of the neck, yelling, "Fix him or I'll fix you!" Bundled onto the pitch, the apothecary dodged through the mayhem to revive the ailing star who picked himself up and got stuck in again.

Despite opening up the chainsaw defense, the distraction of immobilising the best player on the field got the better of the away side. With half-time rapidly approaching, the Goats had a beastman on the ball, just yards from goal line. He looked over his shoulder to see how the formulated fouling was progressing, meanwhile missing Ballista who'd unexpectedly caught up with him. Surprised, the beastman swung wildly. Flailing his arm, he missed, spinning around and falling over his own hooves. The whilstle went, and the 'Saws were somehow in the lead.

The second half opened with quick play and violent results. Orc blitzer blade had his throat ripped out by an onrushing beastman's horn, and subsequently drowned in his own blood as his lungs flooded. Steam had his arm broken in 3 places as an attempt to do a flair tackle went horribly wrong. The chaos ogre collapsed on his own leg before crying like a baby after being kneecapped by Prefect. Then Prefect got kicked in the bajingas as he stood there gloating over the wailing ogre. In the mean time, 3 rapid touchdowns were made to leave the scores at two-a-piece with enough time left for one good play. Player Chainsaw scored both for the away team.

With the 'Saws receiving it was now their game to lose. A perfect kick dropped right into the far corner. However, with two throwers on the pitch since there was no other choice but to field two throwers, Ballista fetched the ball, threw it to B'nana, who then handed it off to the one-orc-show Razor. Just as he was about to blitz star beastman T-Bone into the crowd, the black orc Stone, bizarrely painted half-blue, ran across him yelling, "Freeeeee-ddddoooommm!" and failed to knock over the wrong guy. Razor forcibly pivoted and went for the small gap left behind by the moronic black orc, only for T-Bone to race around and meet him head on with his horns. The ball spilled, the chaos side got it, and executed a perfect full-pitch-length play to score the winner as Chainsaw ran in a hatrick on his debut.

It was preventable, but Ballista had been ball watching, later saying, "But Razor always scores. Why should I cover some wandering beastie when Razor has the ball. He always scores."

When asked about his injury, Steam moaned, "Why does nobody notice me? Perhaps if they all stopped talking about Razor then I might not have to try such extravagant blocks." Coach Chainsaw walked past, slapping him, "Shut up you useless maggot before I retire you." And Steam trudged off downcast.

With massive crushing going on in the crowd throughout the game, nearly 1000 spectators blessed the event by losing their lives. Inexplicably, officials fined both clubs their winnings for the mass deaths. Coach Synn gave his opinion, "Isn't all that death a good thing?"

A spokesperson for the Chainsaw issued a request for more ground staff. The rumour was that, after the game, a brutal fight had broken out in the bowels of the stadia between the 'Saws team and the original staff over the cleaning of the Chainsaw dugout, resulting in the deaths or serious injury of the entire crew. When pressed, Coach Chainsaw replied, "Not at all, they all just decided to take immediate, extended, permanent vacation and won't be returning because their careers reached a sudden end, they felt, apparently." Please give your height, breadth, and family contact as part of your application.”