“Chainsaw visited a Globo Gym Reloaded side who were, for the first time in the classic history of grudge matches between the two sides, actually better than us on paper.

The game was a follow up to a previously abandoned attempt to play at the Razordome. When the crowd were booing at a lack of casualties, Chuck Norris decided to take matters into his own hands and dashed onto the pitch to kick some butt. He stole a microphone and started giving renditions of "Waltzing Matilda" whilst line dancing on his own. Fear and panic quickly spread throughout the crowd, with blood curdling screams and spates of suicides around the stadia. The players and ground staff attempted to rush Norris but he beat them up all too easily. Norris would later claim he was providing entertainment. Witnesses recall White Goodman clapping and giggling before joining in the line dancing, but White refused to shoulder the blame for the death and destruction caused by Chuck Norris, stating, "If this were a dodgeball crowd, they'd be dancing too."

So the match was relocated to the Globo Gym stadium. A handful of blind and deaf porpers were rounded up to pretend to enjoy Chuck Norris' ongoing performance at the Razordome and keep him away from the alternative venue. Since there weren't many blind and deaf people around, and the hired mercenaries were feeling lazy, it was really the nearest 20 or so people who were taken. They were warned of what to expect and given the option of being blinded and deafened with a heated blade, an option which most of them took. One did decide to brave it, but reports are he died a horrible self-inflicted death. Nobody who can see or hear can be found to confirm this.

The match itself was not the usual spectacle we have come to expect from these two sides. The most notable aspect was the complete inability of the 'Saws players to knock down their weaker opponents, and the complete inability of the Globo Gym to get the ball and score a feast given how little time they were spending with their faces in the dirt.

Accusations flew between the two camps as everybody struggled to explain the mystifying game. The away side claimed the Gym had indulged in some kind of sick butter-lubed orgy with the resultant residue preventing the orcs from getting a proper grip on the elves, yet also making the ball too slippy to hold. The elves claimed the orcs had buttered up the ball making it too slippy for them to play with, and the resultant residue on the hands of the orcs prevented them from blocking properly.

White Goodman, caught dumping a large empty butter barrel, claimed it was for Me'Shell's sandwiches and that he likes a lot of butter on them. Given the size of Me'Shell, that is quite believable.

Prefect, caught dumping another empty butter barrel, claimed he found it in the ladies toilets. Given how impossible it is to understand women, we find this equally plausible.

So we leave this buttery debacle unsolved. Coach Chainsaw commented, "At least we didn't get creamed." Coach Lemmy said, "We churned out another victory."”