“When the Shadowbane Inquisitors approached Coach Chainsaw touting a match-up between the two sides, he looked at their roster to see they were very dangerous and far more experienced than his squad. Accepting such a challenge could only be classed as suicidal. Looking at his mottly crew and realising how ugly and deserving of death they were, he leapt at the opportunity to watch them get slaughtered.

Before kick-off, beastman Brandon was arrested. A spokesperson said, "She told it she was 18." When asked about the other minors present, "It was drunk and unaware they were watching." Children these days, uncontrollable.

A decent crowd turned up to watch the 'Saws get decimated and were shocked when, in the opening play of the game, the home side got lucky as Craze sidestepped an onrushing beastman. His teammates grappled with the charging creature and he dashed home an early score.

Somewhat frazzled at the audaciousness of this "lesser" orc side, as well as the late arrest of their colleague, the visiting chaos players were overeager in their attempts to return the kick-off and kept dropping the ball. In a battling end to the half, the 'Saws almost stole the ball for an unlikely 2-0 lead. However, since it was unlikely, it didn't happen and they had to settle for 1-0 at the break.

After a motivating team talk from Coach Bill Brasky, as well as the good news that the "18 year old" girl was in fact 18 and the rest of the team were now safe from prosecution, the Inquisitors were much more composed in the second half. They caught the ball, caged, and set about systematically wiping out the orc side. Relentlessly pressing forward, it was surely a matter of time before the orcs were either too short on numbers or simply too tired to withstand the pressure. However, the greenskins would not give ground, even as their buddies fell one by one. Outnumbered by 3 at one point, as both Vader and then Thrasha capitulated to blows to the head, there was an amazing display of defensive duty as the 'Saws held firm.

Nails, the long serving black orc, epitomised the resilience and was leading the defense line with everything he had when a beastman sank its horns into the orc's chest. Coach Chainsaw held back a tearful apothecary, knowing his player had been suffering with an injury and would rather give his life on the field than retire. The crowd roared in approval as Nails fell to his knees, blood gushing from his chest and over the players around him. It was an end to make any Blood Bowl player proud.

Seeing their comrade fall, the 'Saws players were overcome with anger and tore back into their chaos opponents. The only surprise is that just one chaos player was injured as a beastman got cut down by substitute Fodda in the anarchy. Much to the disappointment of an excited crowd, the apothecary managed to insert the guts back into its stomach and the creature resumed play. Smashing the cage that had held for most of the second half, the ball was knocked free, with Craze and Kromell combining well to almost make the game safe. As it was, the shell-shocked Inquisitors still could not break through the Chainsaw back line so Coach Chainsaw got to celebrate one of his greatest ever victories against a far superior opposition.

The tributes came thick and fast for the stalwart black orc, Nails - but we don't want to hear about those, so we'll move on to the insults. "Good riddance!" said Rump, who found the orc's constant instructions on the field to be confusing. "He was a bastard!" said Fodda, who reputedly picked up the soap a lot in the showers. "I needed a black orc heart." said Datha, holding a variety of voodoo condiments in his hands. Good luck, Datha, I hear the heart has a big horn-sized hole in it!”