“A Chainsaw side down on their luck with 3 straight heavy defeats took on the experienced Dig Dug dwarves who were hoping to take advantage of the 'Saws recent misfortunte. A healthy crowd turned up in good voice to cheer on the usual orc beating that dwarves seem to dish out.

In a matter that officials will be investigating later, when they finish with their beer and cheap women, the stunted ones fired several newly hired coaches before drugging one of their players and casting magic on another to help give them an advantage over the slightly higher rated visting orcs. An official spokesperson for the Dig Dugs denied fraud, citing valid reasons for firing the new employees. One lied about his height on the resume and turned out to be too tall. Another had showered far too recently and was just too clean to work with. The third was the first who had resubmitted his resume lying about his height again.

It was "business as usual" for the 'Saws against dwarves as their numbers were rapidly reduced in a close fought first half. Vader did well, with the help of Prefect, to get behind the main line of attackers and nearly steal the ball. However instead of getting the ball, Vader got hurt and sat out the rest of the game. After gathering the ball, the home side engaged a slow steady drive that was well repelled by an organised defense. The relentless pressure took its toll as the greenbloods finished the half with just six players, all of whom lay on the deck.

At some point in the initial melee, Goran looked like he was dead. Actually he was dead. The apothecary ran over, shook his head, then kicked the large orc in frustration. After a loud crack, probably the broken neck realigning, Goran jumped back up and threw the apothecary into the stands. Hopefully he'll be well enough and brave enough to turn up for the next match.

With three experienced players hurt and a few more knocked out, in the second half it was left up to the junior members of the squad to prove they can cut it at the highest level. They duly obliged. Firstly Ballista Junior showed his excellent skills by throwing the ball half the length of the pitch for Craze to score the first. The dwarves had unusually opened up a corridor right down the center of the pitch and Chainsaw took full advantage.

Lacking the strength of the players on the bench, the away team could not stop another Dig Dug drive and they managed to reply leaving just enough time on the clock for one last Chainsaw effort.

The kick, described as bad by the commentator, landed right in the corner - making a draw look inevitable. Ballista Junior had not yet given up and tracked back to pick up the ball. With only seconds left on the clock, the dwarves got greedy and dashed at the distant thrower. Ballista unleashed another half-pitch long bomb which fell perfectly into the hands of Maelstrom who strode over for a magnificent winner.

Coach Trif walked away from the game shaking his head, saying, "That's just sick. Totally sick. It makes me sick to my stomach." Whether he was talking about the brilliance of the two orc scores or the new tea lady's brews was unclear. We just hope he gets better soon.

A gleeful Coach Chainsaw was more talkative. So we ran as fast as we could, we have other things to do this week y'know.

Veteran lineman Prefect was awarded star player status after another solid performance. He celebrated by running up and down corridors shouting manaically, "I'm a star player and you died after 2 games!" in reference to his late brother. The only surviving member of the original 'Saws squad now has 66 games under his belt.”