“Luck readings are out due to the server going down partway into the first turn. At that stage, Quaruk's luck was a miserable 18% (failing to pick up the ball in the rain) and mine was 40%.

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Assault
Bad coaching
Bad luck
Bash
Block
Bloody
Crap
Crud
Dice
Dice rape
Hit
Lucker
Lucky
Murder
Smash
Splatt
Unlucky
Useless
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It was a very bizarre game. Both of us had some crappy rolls, but Quaruk had more of them and more of them when it really counted. My opponent gave up very early when I had some great initial luck and was just going through the motions (and not very many of them!) in an attempt to get the game over with as soon as possible. Why? It was his first anniversary with his fiancee... and he was playing javabowl whilst she was telling to hurry up so they could have their romantic celebratory dinner!!! Get your priorities straight. Bloodbowl first. Sex second lol.

Anyways, the handicap was It Wasn't Me, taking out my new Catcher who I wanted to train up for this match.

The Defenders won the toss and choice to receive in the rain. Unfortunately for them, they failed to pick up the short kick and the Guardians swooped in and stole the ball. The Defenders were disheartened by this and sat around doing nothing (Quaruk said to me "here we go again" or something to the affect that he was fed up with my apparent continual dice raping of him even though he had won 2 of our last 3 games).

The Guardians went for a quick score, but dropped the hand off thanks to the muddy conditions! The Defenders were unable to get the ball themselves (a 1 to dodge with his thrower using a reroll, and then he failed the 4+ pick up).

The Guardians managed to recover the ball to take a 1-0 lead.

Next kick off, Perfect Defence. The Defenders were again disheartened and just did nothing whilst the Guardians swooped on the short kick and secured the ball.

The Guardians scored quickly afterwards to take a 2-0 lead.

The Defenders continued to experience bad luck as they rolled an early double skulls on the drive and this hurt them when their Witch Elf blitzed my lino and I used sidestep to make the second block (frenzy) a one dicer and it came up skulls.

The Guardians swooped on the ball once more and the demoralised Defenders did nothing whilst their opponents extended the lead to a commanding 3-0 just before half time.

The Guardians started with the ball in the second half and pushed deep on offence. The Defenders didn't defend, with their coach already given up some time ago and trying to finish the game ASAP.

Then came my snake eyes on the TD pass...

The Defenders suddenly found motivation, stealing the ball and exploiting the Guardians bad positioning (I was all pushed forward and had no rear defence if I turned the ball over) to score!

On the next drive, the Guardians rolled an early snake-eyes on a dodge and found themselves under pressure as the Defenders started defending and sent a diving tackle player deep onto the Guardians thrower. The Guardians were let off when the Defenders rolled a snake eyes trying to getting a second diving tackler around my line of scrimmage.

The Guardians attacked the Defender that was marking their thrower and positioned for a score. The Defenders rolled a skull on their one dice blitz on the Guardians thrower who threw an easy long bomb (AG5 and safe throw) over the top of a couple of Defenders to set up another TD to take the score to 4-1.

On the next drive, the Guardians blitzed and stole the ball on another short kick, leading Quaruk to tell me that playing my teams was a pointless exercise since I have all the luck. Hmmm...

With his fiancee breathing down his neck (and not in a sexy way), Quaruk ended his turn and I ran in an uncontested TD to take a 5-1 lead.

The result was well and truly decided and the Guardians played some quick weak defence in the remaining minutes of the game to get it over with and the Defenders scored a consolation 2nd TD.

Was not a very fun game for either of us. Quaruk gave up early and took away some of my enjoyment by telling me repeatedly that I was full of luck, it was pointless playing me, and that he was not going to play me again etc. I did my best to cheer him up, it is only a game after all.

Anyways, I hope he has better luck with his fiance than he did in the game today and hopefully I will see him again on the pitch in the not too far distant future.




”