Skill ups :
1st: Block (done)
2nd: Guard (done)
3rd: Stand Firm
4th: Mighty Blow
+ST

1st Game vs Wyzard's Halfling Comedent Illud - A stellar performance from 'Money' amusing young and old with his antics. Two big blocks showed why this guy is paid the big bucks. Just wonderful. 3/10

2nd Game vs JuVkE's Lizards Malinas Dragonflyyies - A performance that could be broadcast by Cabalvision so parents could show their kids and say 'There! Thats how you play Blood Bowl!' 'Money' Merriorc put in seven blocks so big that women fainted in the crowd and men felt a deep existential dread just from the sound of his fleshy green skin slapping and smashing into raspy blue scales. Superlatives escape me! 6/10

3rd Game vs Pierogi's Wood Elf Puttes'Chaumont - A true hero that steers the ship on the right course. Once again Moneys positional play could be shown to rookies as the right way to go about things. Commanded the midfield with big presence and bigger hijinks! Truly amazing. 4/10

4th Game vs Ghost19's Human Empire Knightz - Show him the Money! What a player! 4 big blocks that rattled the stands and kept the humans down on the ground. 3/10

5th Game vs exefokkers Dark Elf Ips'witch Town Veterans XI - "Ow da fug did Fiyafli ged da aword!? E onli maed wun blok! Ow meny did me maek bos?"
His coach turned away from the sad sight of the cart hauling away Dizzy.
"One block, Money. You made one block."
The giant Black Orc Blockers brow furrowed as he extended his claw like fingers, utterly failing at his attempt at arithmetic.
"Iz wun blok mor dan wun blok bos?"
The coach sighed. "No Money. They are the same."
The greenskins eyes narrowed. "Mi blok bigga den." He scowled before hulking off to sulk on the field. 2/10
Excerpt from the coaches unauthorised autobiography 'How the hell did I end up here?!' Available in all reputable bookstores now!

6th Game vs Beer's Human Dragon Friends - "Evry tiem me loked an me culdn't se Dizzi den sudden lik me coudnt do nuffin. Me had lik a funni feels deap in da botom of me tummi lik me had et too menee gobbos. Do yu fink maebe me sik bos?"
The coach turned to the Black Orc Blocker, who had interrupted his conversation with the opposing coach, a new man on the scene who had proven to be very polite and proper.
"No, Money, not sick. Just scared I think."
The giant Black Orc Blockers brow furrowed as he tried to come to grips with this new concept.
"Wat is dis skerd bos?"
The coach sighed. " Its when you couldn't see your friend Dizzy, so you thought you might get hurt."
The greenskins eyes narrowed. "Skerd! Dun fink so bos. Skerd! No wae!" He scowled before hulking off to sulk in the club rooms. 2/10
Excerpt from the coaches unauthorised autobiography 'How the hell did I end up here?!' Available in all reputable bookstores now!

7th Game vs UnderWater's Birthday Surprise - 'Evry tiem bos! Evry tiem me tryd to hit dem dey ran awae. An den wen me did cach em dey smel so bad me culdnt do nuffin.'
The coach turned to the Black Orc Blocker, thankful at the interruption of the conversation between himself and the unpleasant opposition coach.
'Well Money, next time we'll have to plug up your nose with rags or something.'
The giant Black Orc Blockers brow furrowed as he desperately tried to understand what was being said to him.
"Wat is dis nos bos?"
The coach smiled, reached forward and quickly made a snapping motion in the Black Orcs face. He then held his fist in front of the Orcs face with his thumb stuck between two of his fingers.
"This is your nose Money. And I've got it."
The greenskins eyes widened in terror. "Bos has by dos! Bos has by dos!" he roared as he tore off in a panic, clawing at his own face. 2/10
Excerpt from the coaches unauthorised autobiography 'How the hell did I end up here?!' Now about to reach its second reprint and still available at all semi-reputable bookstores.

8th Game vs Felicsdude332's Paulitonians - 'Wel bos, me fink dat cudda gon worss! Dem ogers waz 'uge but dey stil culdnt ged me!'
The coach looked up from his playbook and sighed.
"Actually Money, the game is still going on. You just got smashed in a head on collision with one of the opposition ogres."
The giant Black Orc Blockers eyes seemed to lose focus as he attempted to raise his head from the filthy straw he was lying on.
'But... but de oger iz broek to bos?'
The coach, momentarily distracted by the play, looked down at the injured Blocker.
'No Money. He's still playing.'
The greenskins eyes narrowed. " Me don fink so bos. Me dout dat veri mush.' 3/10
Excerpt from the coaches unauthorised autobiography 'How the hell do I get out of this job?!' Preorders being taken at all semi-reputable bookstores.

9th Game vs Buu88's Dark Ni - 'Ha! Bowt tiem me wun de awurd. Doh me don member doin nuddin owt der todae.'
The coach sighed and let go of the trophy. There was no point in arguing with the Black Orc now.
"Ok Money, you win... take the trophy. I'll just have to tell Cheese that knocking out three elves, killing another, and scoring the tieing touchdown doesn't compare to your three blocks. Congratulations."
The huge Orcs eyes narrowed as his tiny peanut sized brain completely failed to grasp the concept of sarcasm.
'Guud. He dum anewey. Me win! Munee win!'
The coach gingerly rubbed the back of his head, unsure what to do next. The team blitzers sure were'nt gonna be happy that they'd missed out on the MVP award.
'Yeah Money. You win."
The greenskins eyes narrowed even further. " Yeh. Dat's wad me saed bos. Munee win!' 2/10
Excerpt from the coaches unauthorised autobiography 'How the hell do I get out of this job?!' On sale now at all semi-reputable bookstores.

10th Game vs moathman's Boys 2 Men - 'Dunno wad happind owt dere todae bos. Dos gurls waz funnee.'
The coach put his tankard down on the bar and turned around to face Money.
'I think I know what happened out there today, Money... but it's alright son. These things happen.'
The Black Orc Blockers cheeks reddened, giving him a rather unpleasant purple hue. ' Dem gurls waz al squishee bos! An den wen me maed me takel, she waz al soft, an smeel reel gud. Den me feel al funnee in me pants.'
Slightly embarrassed, the coach handed the Orc a mug of ale and patted him on the arm.
' I know you don't get to play against ladies a lot Money, but next time... maybe you could just tackle them... instead of trying to help them across the mud. And sniffing them. And giving them flowers. And running around giggling. Oh, yeah, and maybe cut out the crying when they run away from you.'
The greenskins skin flushed even purpler. ' Ookay bos, bud ya godda admit dat dem gurls were preddy seksy.'
'Honestly? Some of them were bigger than you Money.... Some of them were bigger than you.' 1/10
Excerpt from the coaches unauthorised autobiography 'How the hell do I get out of this job?!' Discounted copies available at all disreputable bookstores.

11th Game vs sulidamors wood suli ranked - 'Me nek feels al squishy bos. Wad da fug appened?'
The coach tried to help the apothecary straighten up the big guy's neck. Luckily his head was so twisted around he couldn't see the team doctor signalling to the coach that it was broken. Like... shattered broken.
'We got beaten Money. We got beaten real bad.'
The Black Orc Blocker's eyes were surprisingly lucid as they rested him down onto the floor of the dugout. 'Me kant feel me leegs bos.'
The coach nearly choked with emotion. Eleven games and this was the first time he'd had a player injured.
'I'm sure we'll fix you up Money.' he said, wiping the dust from his eyes.
The greenskins eyes narrowed. 'No. Don fiks me. Iff me kant feel den me kan smash 'arder an not feel da payn. Me be a smashin masheen!'
'I hope so Money.... I really do.' 1/10
Excerpt from the tattered remains of some dirty old book that was lying in the ablution block out the back of the Harm'Em Globetrotters clubrooms.

TOTAL MATCH RATING -