Director: Rowan Woods

Writer: Richard Manning

Original Air Date: 18 August 2000 (Season 2, Episode 15)

<b>Plot Summary:</b>

John's back on Earth again somehow--- well, Bizarro Earth. Or is it? Maybe he's just having that big psychotic breakdown we've all been waiting for. Or, maybe not...

<b>Quotes:</b>

Officer Crais: I like your style, hombre. But this is no laughing matter. Assault on a police officer. Theft of police property. Illegal possession of a firearm. Five counts of attempted murder. That comes to--- $29.40! Cash, check or credit card?

--

Zhaan: Admit it, you've had sexual thoughts about all of us. Haven't you?
John: Not me.
Chiana: Oh come on. You're a male!
Zhaan: It's just the way you are wired.
Aeryn: Nothing to be ashamed of, not when females are willing.
Zhaan: Nothing to be ashamed of, boss.
Aeryn: I'm a doctor. Just relax.
Zhaan: I can wear a Freudian slip!
Aeryn: I found new places to take your temperature.
Chiana: I can teach you left and teen tat-latao torture!
Rygel: [wearing a truly disturbing leather bondage outfit] All you bitches get out of here! Crichton is mine! [gets out a whip, snaps it as he yells] This is for calling me Sparky! This is for calling me Fluffy! And this is for Buckwheat, whatever that means!

--

Officer Crais: Freeze! You're under arrest! [points a gun at John; for some reason, he's wearing red pumps] You have the right to the remainder of the day to find an attorney. If you can't find one, then tough noogies! You can make one phone call! I recommend 976-triple 5-LUV! Do you understand these rights as I have explained them to you? Well, do you, punk!?
John: No....
Officer Crais: Then I can't arrest you!

--

John: Don't get too comfortable. I'm going to get that chip out of my head no matter what.
Scorpius: There's no chip in your head, John.
John: Yeah there is. You told me. There's a ummm..... Mmm...
Scorpius: You were saying?
John: Mental chip!... mmm....
Scorpius: As you were saying?
John: What am I saying? Hunh? [gazes blankly at Scorpius, totally confused]
Scorpius:[smiles in satisfaction] As it should be. I won't trouble you again--- until I need to. There's an exit it to the left that shall no doubt take you back to the surface of this commerce planet. I leave you to your shipmates, John. But rest assured, I'll be with you always... keeping you safe.