<H3>Memorable quotes from "Boston Legal"</H3>
<B>Alan Shore:</B> You know I'm not about to go to Texas and not ride the mechanical bull, Chelina. That would be like going to Los Angeles and not sleeping with Paris Hilton

<B>Judge Harry Hingham:</B> A ho-mo-sexual? That's where we're at now? Santa Clauses being played by ho-mo-sexuals?
<B>Alan Shore:</B> [mockingly] I believe "homosexual" is one word, judge. But to avoid confusion, let's say "gay".

<B>Judge Harry Hingham:</B> Alright already, I've heard enough. I'm going to rule on this.
<B>Alan Shore:</B> You can't rule yet!
<B>Judge Harry Hingham:</B> Why not?
<B>Alan Shore:</B> I don't know.

<B>Alan Shore:</B> What's your specialty?
<B>Dr. Allen Konigsberg:</B> Couples' counseling. I first saw the client and his wife together. Since the divorce I've been working with him alone.
<B>Alan Shore:</B> So they came to you to improve their relationship, and now one wants to kill the other. Not your best work, was it, doctor?

<B>Denny Crane:</B> I don't know whether you know this but not many men take the time, every day, to have a cigar, glass of scotch, to talk to their best friend. That's not something most men have.
<B>Alan Shore:</B> No it isn't.
<B>Denny Crane:</B> What I give to you, what I share, I do with no one else. I like to think that what you give to me you do with nobody else. Now that may sound silly to you. But here's what I think is silly, the idea that jealousy or fidelity is reserved for romance. I always suspected that there was a connection between you and that man. That you got something you didn't get from me.
<B>Alan Shore:</B> I probably do. But gosh, what I get from you Denny. People walk around today calling everyone their best friend. The term doesn't have any real meaning anymore. Mere acquaintances are lavished with hugs and kisses upon a second or at most third meeting, birthday cards get passed around offices so everybody can scribble a snippet of sentimentality for a colleague they barely met, and everyone just loves everyone. As a result when you tell somebody you love them today, it isn't much heard. I love you Denny, you are my best friend. I can't imagine going through life without you as my best friend. I'm not going to kiss you however.

<B>Alan Shore:</B> Let me tell me two things about myself. I too am a lawyer, I can be painfully vindictive, and I do not play fair.
<B>Lester Tremont:</B> That's three things.
<B>Alan Shore:</B> See? Not playing fair already. And I'm just getting started.

<B>Alan Shore:</B> Denny, I'm going to miss you.
<B>Denny Crane:</B> I'm not going anywhere!
<B>Alan Shore:</B> I've been married; of course you are.

<B>Alan Shore:</B> You know what I miss most about our country, Denny? Not the loss of our civil rights so much as our compassion, our soul, our humanity.
<B>Denny Crane:</B> Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh. Soul, that's a religious thing. State... church... it's unconstitutional for the United States to have a soul.
<B>Alan Shore:</B> Apparently. We seem to be becoming a mean people. Learned Hand once said, "Liberty lies in our hearts, and once it dies there, no constitution can save it."
<B>Denny Crane:</B> Just once I wish you'd quote a Republican.
<B>Alan Shore:</B> I want a kindler and gentler nation.

<B>Alan Shore:</B> Denny, I refuse to shoot you.
<B>Denny Crane:</B> You... Democrat! Protesting war and banning guns. If you Nancys had your way, nobody would ever shoot anybody! And then where would we be?"
<B>Alan Shore:</B> "Where would we be...”