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Did you know? Up until now, 1520364 players have died on the pitch.
The mover and shaker of the team, currently negotiating a contract with Norcke shoes for a signature line of blue suede cleats. Rumor has it that the contract is in the millions and has a mysterious clause concerning a lifetime supply of jelly donoughts...
Recent hysteria over Elvis's provacative hip gyrations during end-zone dances has led NBC to only film his touchdown celebrations above the waist.
"W'uh-huh! W'uh-huh! Me all shuk-up!!"