40 coaches online • Server time: 08:51
* * * Did you know? The best scorer is debog with 491 touchdowns.
Log in
Recent Forum Topics goto Post New Gnones vs Old Gn...goto Post Custom Icon, Portrai...goto Post All Star Bowl!
[SL20]Black Turnips
Retired [L] Black Dwarf

There is a long-running armchair debate about the etymology of the team name "Black Turnips". There are 3 main contenders put forward by philologists:

(1) That when the team fell on hard times (following the Great Financial Collapse), they took to stealing turnips from their unfortunate neighbours' fields. Not a very charitable explanation (though plausible).

(2) That the performance of the team (and of its prominent players) is so chronically bad, that the fans have taken to yelling: "You're as useful as a black turnip!". Also not a very charitable explanation (but quite popular).

(3) That the expression dates from the time of the great Crypto-Tulip Mania (widely believed to have been started by Vampire teams discovering the means to grow exotic tulips in their crypts, hence the term "crypto"). Anyway, according to this etymon, the team much exaggerated and touted their (non-existent) horticultural and crypto-prowess, founded a crypto-tulip exchange, and wrote a good many futures contracts for "black tulips" (for astronomical sums, of course). When the "black tulip bulbs" were eventually dug up on the contract date, they turned out of course to be nothing of the kind, but instead rather smelly and rotten black turnips (at least that is the polite version). This precipitated not only the Great Financial Collapse, but the wider ruin of society as we knew it (not to mention the end of the NAF - far too many bribes having been paid in crypto-tulips). The most charming explanation (if a bit far-fetched).

We will let you decide, gentle reader. We only suggest that should you wish to debate the matter with one of the venerable Imperial philologists, you first find yourself a good armchair!
New Team Page Beta
Player Ma St Ag Pa Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs Mvp SPP Cost  
1
Fast Eddie
Chaos Dwarf Blitzer
6 3 3+ 5+ 10+
Block, Catch, Thick Skull
 n, m 2 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 100k
(0)k
  
2
Lightning
Chaos Dwarf Blitzer
6 3 3+ 5+ 10+
Block, Catch, Thick Skull
 n 1 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 100k
(100+0)k
  
3
Chukka Norris
Chaos Dwarf Thrower
5 3 3+ 3+ 9+
Pass, Sure Hands, Thick Skull
   2 0 0 0 2 0 4/ 70k
(70+0)k
  
4
Lobba Tommy
Chaos Dwarf Thrower
5 3 3+ 3+ 9+
Pass, Sure Hands, Thick Skull
 m 2 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 70k
(0)k
  
5
Rusty Toecap
Chaos Dwarf Kicker
4 3 4+ 4+ 10+
Block, Dirty Player, Kick, Thick Skull
   2 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 80k
(80+0)k
  
7
Happy
Chaos Dwarf Mutant
4 3 4+ 4+ 10+
Block, Thick Skull
   1 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 60k
(60+0)k
  
8
Clappy
Chaos Dwarf Mutant
4 3 4+ 4+ 10+
Block, Thick Skull
   2 0 0 0 0 1 4/ 60k
(60+0)k
  
9
Dapper
Chaos Dwarf Lineman
4 3 4+ 5+ 10+
Block, Thick Skull
   2 0 0 0 0 1 4/ 60k
(60+0)k
  
10
Suave
Chaos Dwarf Lineman
4 3 4+ 5+ 10+
Block, Thick Skull
   1 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 60k
(60+0)k
  
11
Smooth
Chaos Dwarf Lineman
4 3 4+ 5+ 10+
Block, Thick Skull
   2 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 60k
(60+0)k
  
12
Dude
Chaos Dwarf Lineman
4 3 4+ 5+ 10+
Block, Thick Skull
   2 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 60k
(60+0)k
  
17
Robert Hotbone
Journeyman Chaos Dwarf Lineman
4 3 4+ 5+ 10+
Block, Thick Skull
Loner
   0 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 60k
(60+0)k
  
18
Yorick Palebrook
Journeyman Chaos Dwarf Lineman
4 3 4+ 5+ 10+
Block, Thick Skull
Loner
   0 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 60k
(60+0)k
  
9 players (+2 players missing next game) Favoured of Chaos Undivided
Coach: smeborg Re-Rolls (140k): 3  
Race: Black Dwarf Dedicated Fans: 1  
Current Team Value: 940k Assistant Coaches: 0  
Treasury: 95k Cheerleaders: 0  
Team Value: 1110k Apothecary: No  

Games Played:2 (0/1/1) |TD Diff:-2 (0 - 2) |Cas Diff:-3 (1/0/1 - 2/3/0)
Last Opponent: Kingston Flyers