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Cheeseheads United
Retired [X2] Human

You just gotta love Green Bay, Wisconsin!

Beer! Cheese! Packers!

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THIS TEAM WAS PARTICIPATING IN TORTLEY'S SUPER LEAGUE!

2005 Season:

Game One vs. Human Targets: Dice rape allows opponent the 2-1 victory! On a sure pass/catch between a passer and catcher, Nuffle interefers and sways the game! Capt.1821's ego will not allow him to ride on the team bus back to Fargo, North Dakota.
***WARMIMG: CAPTAIN1821 LIKES TO CROWD PUSH. HE IS A WEAK COACH AND NEEDS THE PLAYER ADVANTAGE!***

Game Two vs. Hufferdield Giants: Forfeit win. I received a call from the Giant's general manager. It seems their team bus was caught behind some arsehole walking on the highway. The arrogant prick wouldn't move out of the way. I asked why the bus could not go around the ucking bastard, but the GM rereplied that the guy's head was so large that it blocked all four lanes of the higway. I laughed and explained that I knew exactly who the guy was.

Game Three vs. Kislev Chargers: Victory at last! To make sure there was no problems on the highway, the team hires a private jet to take them to the balmy beaches of Kislev to play the Chargers. Wouldn't you know it! There was a blizzard on the beach which lasted the entire game! It was a brutal game during the first half. The Chargers inflicted two casualties (both MNG)and softened the Cheeseheads up for the next game. The Chargers had an 11 on 9 player advantage for the most of the first half, but a missed Charger's pass allowed just the opportunity the Cheeseheads needed. Donald Driver (Blitzer) made a dodge and scoped up the loose football. He raced for the endzone. The Chargers had a one-die blitz to stop the score, but the man skulled himself. Donald scores on T6 of the first half to make the score 1-0 Cheeseheads. The scecond half, the Cheeseheads received a deep kick. It took some solid "picket fence" formations to keep the Chargers at bay. Mike Flanigan (Catcher) dodged and weaved his way to the endzone on T5 to seal the victory. The Chargers scored on last last play of the game to make the final score Cheeseheads 2 and Chargers 1. I want to compliment the Charger's coach, Fosthefish. He made the game enjoyable because he made me work. The dice just rose up and bit him on too many important times.

Game Four vs. Terminatio Infinitus: It was over after T2! So one-sided that the only thing I could think of was that I was lucky not to be playing Captain1821. He would have thought it was his brilliant coaching giving him an easy win. After four (three actually played) games, the team earns its first skills. The best thing that happened was that it ended!

Game Five vs. Dark Denazons: It was an exciting game until middle of the second half. It then became a "body" game in our favor. For the game, the Cheeseheads inflicted two deaths and two BHs (one which included his Ogre). I was really thinking this team is cursed when two consecutive turns in the first half, we couldn't move the ball (hand-off fails, rr, hand-off fails followed with pick-up fails, rr, pick-up fails). We recovered for a score to even it at the half, 1-1. In the second half, the Double Ds made us work until a death and the Ogre BH (T4) gave us the "body" advantage. We stalled the the last three turns before scoring. I hated doing that to Alan "Scouser" Hasek, but this was almost a seasonal play-off game, and I needed the win. The final score was Cheeseheads 2 - Denazons 1. Scouser, thank you for the great game! I was so impressed with his play that the Cheeseheads hired him as their new thrower!

Game Six vs. Altdorf Furies: We salvaged a tie 1-1, but he and his dice out played me for a half. At one point, a combined 13 players were in the KO, SI, or RIP boxes. I thought we were playing Chaos Flings for a moment and someone had a bloody chainsaw out on the pitch! I swear that these humans need to be in the stunty leagues. The Cheeseheads have played five games (with one forfeit) and three have been bizarre! Once again, nice job Lamby! You deserved the win! Also, thanks for putting up with all my bitching! If you need us, the team and I will be at Rosie Rumpe's Royal Dumpe for quite a few shots and even more than a few beers. I just don't understand humans!

JUST A FEW HOURS AFTER GAME SIX:
It was just announced that Vinnie is having emergency surgury to have the dice removed from his rectum!

While drinking at Rosie's Rumpe's Royal Dumpe and Brothel, Vinnie complained of an uncomfortable feeling far up his arse. After abeing rushed into an MRI, it was found that there were 58 boxes of unopened dice shoved up his arse and lodged near his colon. Doctors Solahma and Lamby were called to perform this important operation.

Meetgrinder is doing his part by selling the boxes of dice on E-bay.

NEWS FLASH: LEAGUE FOLDS!
The IRS shut down the league and confiscated all of the league's equipment after failing to pay taxes.

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New Team Page Beta
Player Ma St Ag Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs Mvp SPP Cost  
1
Brett Favre
Blitzer
7 3 3 8
Block
   9 0 0 0 1 0 2/ 90k
(95)k
  
2
Samkon Gado
Blitzer
7 3 3 8
Block
   7 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 90k
(95)k
  
3
Aaron Kampman
Lineman
6 3 3 8   4 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 50k
(50)k
  
5
William Henderson
Lineman
6 3 3 8   8 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 50k
(50)k
  
6
Al Harris
Thrower
6 3 3 8
Pass, Sure Hands
Accurate
 n 8 2 0 0 0 1 7/ 90k
(96)k
  
8
Brady Poppinga
Lineman
5 3 3 8 -ma 8 0 0 0 0 1 5/ 50k
(40)k
  
9
Nick Barnett
Lineman
6 3 3 8
Strip Ball
   9 1 1 0 0 2 14/ 70k
(70)k
  
10
Bubba Franks
Catcher
8 2 3 7
Catch, Dodge
Block
   9 0 2 0 0 1 11/ 90k
(125)k
  
11
Mike Flanagan
Catcher
8 2 3 7
Catch, Dodge
Block
 n 9 0 2 0 0 0 6/ 90k
(104)k
  
12
Javon Walker
Lineman
6 3 3 8
Block
   8 0 0 0 1 2 12/ 70k
(70)k
  
13
Aaron Rogers
Lineman
6 3 3 8   7 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 50k
(50)k
  
14
Scouser Hasek
Thrower
6 3 3 8
Pass, Sure Hands
Accurate
   5 1 0 0 0 1 6/ 90k
(115)k
  
15
Mark Tauscher
Ogre
5 5 2 9
Big Guy, Bone Head, Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Throw Team Mate
   1 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 120k
(108)k
  
13 players  
Coach: VinnieSpleenmasher Re-Rolls (100k): 3  
Race: Human Fan Factor: 9  
Current Team Value: 0k Assistant Coaches: 0  
Treasury: 80k Cheerleaders: 0  
Team Value: 1290k Apothecary: Yes  

Games Played:9 (2/2/5) |TD Diff:-8 (8 - 16) |Cas Diff:-11 (2/6/2 - 8/8/5)
Last Opponent: Royalty Forever