Child: Father! Father!

Cordozar Calvin Broadus: I suppose that is statistically probable. What is it, my dear, supposed child?



Child: These men do not follow my orders! Sometimes the Catchers drop the ball for no good reason and sometimes the Thrower does not even manage to pick the ball up! Dear father, how am I supposed to learn how to play this game if my players will not do as I tell them?! Father, please! Please, buy me a team of nimble elven players so that I may have competent Catchers and Throwers, fit to carry out my strategies!

Cordozar Calvin Broadus: I shall make a right proper Blood Bowl coach of you yet! If an elven team is what you need, an elven team you shall have!

~



Child: Father! Father! I have had a wonderful time coaching the elves, telling them about strategy and such, and we all became dear friends and cared a great deal for one another! The elves threw the ball back and forth perfectly during practice, and could run down the field in no time at all! Sadly, when playing our very first match, an elf was tragically killed in a block, and we all broke out in tears! How we cried! Oh, how we cried! None of us could see through our tears, so I was forced to concede on behalf of the team! Oh, Father! I cannot bear it! Father, please! Buy me a team of sturdy Dwarf players, so that I may never have to experience such grief again!

Cordozar Calvin Broadus: Err?



Child: I- I am your daughter! Father, please!

Cordozar Calvin Broadus: An easy claim to make! Pray tell, who is your mother, child?



Child: Wh- ... but father! ... My mother is the q-

Cordozar Calvin Broadus: Ah! Yes. How could I forget my most favourite daughter! You shall have that thing which you were previously going on about.

~



Child: Father! Father! Not only does the Dwarfs run at half the pace of the elves, they can neither pass nor catch the ball! However, would you believe it, father!? - the dwarves have no reason to pass or catch the ball! I have won my first match and all of my new friends are unscathed and in good health! Father, we were all overjoyed and clapped in our hands and jumped when we won!. The dwarves never fall over or get hurt, and they never drop the ball!

Cordozar Calvin Broadus: I am pleased that you won your first match, child, but you have much to learn yet!

~



Child: Father! Father! Despite winning my every game, the other coaches look at me as if I have something icky stuck betwixt my teeth! I no longer receive invitations to events or congratulatory letters and compliments after winning! I even overheard some spectators on the stands saying the most hurtful, the most vile things about the Dwarfs, and looking back, I realize that all of those vile things are true! Oh, Father! I cannot coach the dwarves any longer! Winning and not getting hurt is not everything I realize that now!

Cordozar Calvin Broadus: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! My dearest child! This has been a great lesson for you and I no longer doubt in the statistical probability that you may be a child of mine! My most precious child, let us send those Dwarfs packing, and purchase for you a proper team! Which one would you like?