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Past Players of Silly Stinking Suckers
| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 4 | Friedrich Wilhelm von Steuben | Gutter Runner | 1 | 11 | Dodge, Block | m, n |
| 2 | Tuomas | Lineman | 2 | 0 | d | |
| 2 | Voldo | Lineman | 2 | 0 | m, n | |
| 11 | Poldi | Lineman | 5 | 5 | d | |
| 15 | Abraham Lincoln | Gutter Runner | 6 | 1 | Dodge | d |
| 9 | Thomas Jefferson | Gutter Runner | 28 | 74 | Dodge, Block, Sprint, Side Step, Shadowing | d |
| 15 | James Madison | Gutter Runner | 16 | 61 | Dodge, Very Long Legs, Sprint, Sure Feet, Catch | d |
| 14 | George Washington | Gutter Runner | 23 | 55 | Dodge, +AG, +MA, Sprint, Block | n, d |
| 12 | Norbert | Lineman | 10 | 2 | n, n | |
| 11 | Wilhelm | Lineman | 23 | 18 | Block, Tackle | -ag, n, m, n |
| 10 | Otto | Lineman | 29 | 40 | Kick, Dirty Player, Tackle | -ma, n |
| 9 | Friedhelm | Lineman | 7 | 0 | -ma, d | |
| 8 | Anton | Lineman | 9 | 19 | +ST, Block | d |
| 6 | Jochen | Lineman | 36 | 10 | Block | n, m, n |
| 5 | Erich | Lineman | 34 | 12 | +ST | -ag, m, -av |
| 4 | Gerhardt | Lineman | 33 | 36 | Block, Leader, Tackle | -ag, m, n |
| 3 | Heinrich | Lineman | 3 | 0 | d | |
| 2 | Roland | Lineman | 27 | 19 | Claw, Block | d |