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Past Players of Primetime Stupidity
| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 19 | Ulric Fastbone | Hobgoblin | 1 | 0 | d | |
| 8 | Ellen DeGeneres | Chaos Dwarf Blocker | 1 | 0 | Block, Tackle, Thick Skull | d |
| 13 | Stephen Colbert | Hobgoblin | 7 | 4 | d | |
| 11 | Ellen DeGeneres | Chaos Dwarf Blocker | 9 | 7 | Block, Tackle, Thick Skull, Guard | d |
| 8 | Jon Steward | Hobgoblin | 15 | 10 | Block | d |
| 11 | Jay Leno | Hobgoblin | 6 | 23 | +AG, Block | d |
| 7 | Jerry Springer | Hobgoblin | 22 | 13 | Pass | d |
| 1 | Oprah Winfrey | Troll | 13 | 2 | Mighty Blow, Regenerate, Really Stupid, Throw Team Mate, Always Hungry, Big Guy | m, n |
| 16 | Martin Krasnik | Bull Centaur | 1 | 0 | Thick Skull, Sprint, Sure Feet | d |
| 15 | Dr. Phil | Bull Centaur | 24 | 57 | Thick Skull, Sprint, Sure Feet, Side Step, +MA, Block, Sure Hands | n |
| 14 | Ellen DeGeneres | Chaos Dwarf Blocker | 28 | 33 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle, Guard, +AG, Break Tackle | m |
| 13 | Jarl Friis Mikkelsen | Hobgoblin | 13 | 10 | Block | n |
| 12 | Jay Leno | Hobgoblin | 19 | 18 | Block, +MA | d |
| 11 | Oprah Winfrey | Minotaur | 14 | 15 | Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Frenzy, Horns, Throw Team Mate, Always Hungry, Big Guy, Wild Animal, Guard | -ma |
| 10 | David Letterman | Chaos Dwarf Blocker | 12 | 5 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle | d |
| 9 | Martha Stewart | Chaos Dwarf Blocker | 40 | 19 | Block, Tackle, Thick Skull, Guard, Mighty Blow | m, -st |
| 8 | Jon Stewart | Hobgoblin | 23 | 29 | Guard, Block | m, -ag |
| 7 | Conan O'Brien | Hobgoblin | 20 | 41 | Sure Hands, Block, Pro | n |
| 6 | Don Imus | Hobgoblin | 26 | 3 | m, n | |
| 5 | Harald Schmidt | Hobgoblin | 15 | 5 | -ma | |
| 4 | Gabi Bauer | Hobgoblin | 11 | 2 | n | |
| 3 | Judge Mathis | Hobgoblin | 9 | 4 | -av, m, n | |
| 2 | Ricki Lake | Hobgoblin | 22 | 37 | +AG, Block, Strip Ball | -ma, d |
| 1 | Jerry Springer | Hobgoblin | 15 | 30 | Block, Sure Hands | n |