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* * * Did you know? Up until now, 1479782 players have died on the pitch.
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Past Players of Things Doomed to Die
| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 17 | Evander Bluelightning | Lineman | 1 | 0 | Block | d |
| 1 | Uncles | Berserker | 3 | 2 | Block, Frenzy, Jump Up | d |
| 18 | Nicholas Clumsyhawk | Lineman | 1 | 0 | Block | d |
| 5 | Goldfish | Lineman | 4 | 0 | Block | -av |
| 9 | Grandpas | Catcher | 4 | 4 | Block, Dauntless | d |
| 18 | Evander Palehawk | Lineman | 1 | 0 | Block | d |
| 12 | Dogs | Ulfwerenar | 5 | 2 | Frenzy | -ma |
| 6 | Puppies | Ulfwerenar | 18 | 7 | Frenzy, Dodge | d |
| 6 | Grandpas | Catcher | 2 | 2 | Block, Dauntless | m, -ag |
| 13 | Rats | Lineman | 1 | 0 | Block | d |
| 12 | Puppies | Ulfwerenar | 1 | 0 | Frenzy | -av |
| 3 | Cats | Lineman | 28 | 24 | Block, Fend, Kick | m, -ag |
| 4 | Guinea pigs | Lineman | 23 | 15 | Block, Fend | m, d |
| 5 | Houseplants | Lineman | 20 | 37 | Block, +MA, Strip Ball, Fend | m, m, d |
| 11 | Snakes | Lineman | 13 | 12 | Block, +AG | d |
| 10 | Aunts | Berserker | 29 | 39 | Block, Frenzy, Jump Up, Mighty Blow, Juggernaut, Tackle | -ag, n, m, n |
| 9 | Uncles | Berserker | 20 | 20 | Block, Frenzy, Jump Up, Guard, Mighty Blow | -ma, n |
| 8 | Grandmas | Catcher | 1 | 0 | Block, Catch | d |
| 6 | Grandpas | Catcher | 10 | 10 | Block, Dauntless, Pass Block | -ma |
| 7 | Xmas Trees | Thrower | 27 | 60 | Block, Pass, Accurate, +AG, Wrestle, Sure Hands | m, m, n |
| 5 | Houseplants | Lineman | 4 | 6 | Block, Kick | m, -st |
| 4 | Dogs | Lineman | 6 | 5 | Block | d |
| 3 | Cats | Lineman | 5 | 2 | Block | n |
| 2 | Goldfish | Lineman | 19 | 29 | Block, Tackle, Kick | m, -av |
| 1 | Hamsters | Lineman | 27 | 22 | Block, +AG, +AG | m, m, d |