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Past Players of Everyone Hates Dwarfs
| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Trimbeard | Longbeard | 4 | 5 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle | d |
| 1 | Curlybeard | Longbeard | 3 | 10 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle | d |
| 16 | Mercury | Runner | 2 | 8 | Sure Hands, Thick Skull, Hail Mary Pass | n |
| 16 | Oldsmobile | Runner | 1 | 0 | Sure Hands, Thick Skull | |
| 12 | Feckless | Troll Slayer | 3 | 0 | Block, Thick Skull, Dauntless, Frenzy | |
| 8 | Cakebeard | Longbeard | 17 | 17 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle, Guard, Side Step | n, d |
| 11 | Wreckless | Troll Slayer | 15 | 17 | Block, Thick Skull, Dauntless, Frenzy, +MA, Mighty Blow | n |
| 7 | Mudbeard | Longbeard | 24 | 9 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle, Guard | m, -ma |
| 6 | Firebeard | Longbeard | 9 | 17 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle, Guard, Mighty Blow | m, -av |
| 5 | Snowbeard | Longbeard | 15 | 24 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle, Guard, Kick | m |
| 4 | Bloodbeard | Longbeard | 7 | 0 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle | |
| 1 | Shortbeard | Longbeard | 16 | 11 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle, Guard | m, n |